I apologize if I've messed anything up by not knowing the thread rules. I'm kind of an old fart, and I have just, after 14 years, had my husband tell me he doesn't want me anymore. I am on AD (Lexapro) and I was on anti-anxiety but she won't prescribe them to me anymore without my *husband* saying I haven't been drinking. Which I haven't for over 3 weeks, now. I want to die, I can't live with this pain, my kids are out of the house, I just have my diabetic cat, who is my baby, and I made him promise me to take care of her. But my razors aren't even sharp enough. I can't deal with this. I haven't been drinking, but my anxiety is so high, I jump at the slightest noise. I'm scared to tell my APRN how suicidal I am. My soon to be ex-husband will have the boys, so why does it matter? They're not home right now, if I had a sharper razor, I wouldn't be typing. I downed a bunch of pills, <mod edit-gentlelady-methods>. Didn't do a damn thing but make me sleepy and pissed off. My boss is being really nice and helping me with my hours to work, but I didn't tell him how I was feeling inside. I love my boys, I gave birth to them, I breast fed them. I can't live anymore, though. My husband stole my best friend, he slept with her a week before he told me he wanted a divorce. I've lost so much weight, I've gone from a 22 to a small size 14 in the past few weeks. He doesn't care. He says I'm "smothering" him. I just want to die. I can't even do that right, all the razors are dull. I just made him promise he'd take care of our boys and that he'd take care of my diabetic cat, she's my baby girl. He promised. Then I hung up. Wish I had a gun.