i know i dont post much and so dont have any right to expect any responce to this, but i just have to get it off my chest as it is killing me. there is no easy way for me to explain this, but i just feel guilt for the bad things that have happened to other people. however this is not the normal feeling sorry for someone, but instead a gut wrenching affair. it mainly though happens when i hear of abuse to girls or children (i guess the "weaker" ones). i talk to many females on here who have been sexually abused by men, and it crushes my heart with every story i hear. i dont know why it happens, but it is hard for me to explain the true depth of the pain i feel for everyone. it seems that i feel guilt for many reasons, or at least i think i do. i always feel a need to protect others, having the ideals of ye olde times, wishing to be the knight in shinning armour. also i guess i would like to help the females at least have confidence that not all guys are animals like the ones who have abused them. at least i would like to think that my conversations actually help others at some point, but i get the feeling i do more harm than good most of the time. ugh, i really dont know what to think, i know i havent done anything bad in my past, but i have always felt this guilt for other's actions, even when its on tv sometimes it triggers me. sometimes i wish i wouldnt get like this punishment, and thats what it is another way for me to punish myself. i really wish i could protect everyone from all the bad things in the world, it seems when i try even more people end up getting hurt. i just am lost for what to do, where to turn. but i feel it is tearing me apart, and i feel so helpless in easing anyone's troubles. one of my rl friends (she broke my heart also) told me that she had to force a guy out of her room when he tried it on with her, if you know what i mean. she said that the only reason why she told me that was because "(she) knew i wouldnt do anything about it" and that just crushed me, she only told me because i am weak and would not try to get retribution, because im a pathetic loser. even before that she phoned me when she was drunk late at night asking me stuff. when we had finished talking i worried about her so much that i phoned her again to ask if she was ok and safe in her room. even then i got barely any sleep until i saw her the next day. i was scared that she would have someone take advantage of her when drunk. anyway i am off point, i just feel that the guys who abuse women are animals and shouldnt even be allowed to call themselves men. they are making my life hell by proxy, even though they arent doing anything to me directly. where are the morals gone, taking advantage of drunk girls, argh i get so mad. i just hope that i help show not all guys are bad, though i seem to hurt people unintentionally. even though i have just said all this, i really dont want this to affect how anyone talks to me, i still want to hear everyone's problems and try to aid them the best i can, please do not hold back. if my pain aids others then i gladly accept it, so please talk to me if anyone is in need of help. thanks for listening.