sorry sorry sorry (*maybe trig*)

Discussion in 'Let it all out...' started by wienerman, Sep 7, 2006.

  1. wienerman

    wienerman Guest

    i know i dont post much and so dont have any right to expect any responce to this, but i just have to get it off my chest as it is killing me.

    there is no easy way for me to explain this, but i just feel guilt for the bad things that have happened to other people. however this is not the normal feeling sorry for someone, but instead a gut wrenching affair. it mainly though happens when i hear of abuse to girls or children (i guess the "weaker" ones). i talk to many females on here who have been sexually abused by men, and it crushes my heart with every story i hear. i dont know why it happens, but it is hard for me to explain the true depth of the pain i feel for everyone.

    it seems that i feel guilt for many reasons, or at least i think i do. i always feel a need to protect others, having the ideals of ye olde times, wishing to be the knight in shinning armour. also i guess i would like to help the females at least have confidence that not all guys are animals like the ones who have abused them. at least i would like to think that my conversations actually help others at some point, but i get the feeling i do more harm than good most of the time.

    ugh, i really dont know what to think, i know i havent done anything bad in my past, but i have always felt this guilt for other's actions, even when its on tv sometimes it triggers me. sometimes i wish i wouldnt get like this punishment, and thats what it is another way for me to punish myself. i really wish i could protect everyone from all the bad things in the world, it seems when i try even more people end up getting hurt. i just am lost for what to do, where to turn. but i feel it is tearing me apart, and i feel so helpless in easing anyone's troubles.

    one of my rl friends (she broke my heart also) told me that she had to force a guy out of her room when he tried it on with her, if you know what i mean. she said that the only reason why she told me that was because "(she) knew i wouldnt do anything about it" and that just crushed me, she only told me because i am weak and would not try to get retribution, because im a pathetic loser. even before that she phoned me when she was drunk late at night asking me stuff. when we had finished talking i worried about her so much that i phoned her again to ask if she was ok and safe in her room. even then i got barely any sleep until i saw her the next day. i was scared that she would have someone take advantage of her when drunk.

    anyway i am off point, i just feel that the guys who abuse women are animals and shouldnt even be allowed to call themselves men. they are making my life hell by proxy, even though they arent doing anything to me directly. where are the morals gone, taking advantage of drunk girls, argh i get so mad. i just hope that i help show not all guys are bad, though i seem to hurt people unintentionally.

    even though i have just said all this, i really dont want this to affect how anyone talks to me, i still want to hear everyone's problems and try to aid them the best i can, please do not hold back. if my pain aids others then i gladly accept it, so please talk to me if anyone is in need of help.

    thanks for listening.
     
  2. Marshmallow

    Marshmallow Staff Alumni

    Hey Alex

    I dont think that its guilt you feel, but i think your a sensitive guy you takes everything to heart, and because your so nice and caring everything people tell you, you feel apart of it, the need to protect them and to me thats a very special quality to have and not many guys do care the way you do.

    Just being able to talk to a female whos been abused by a male must show you that they trust you, many women dont trust men at all after their ordeals but they talk to you, that makes you special, and you are!

    Hun its not possible to solve everyones problems, and i know that if you could you would, life doesn't allways treat us good, everyone has their bad moments and their good moments, but some people have more bad than good, but theirs nothing you can do to stop that except be there for them people, and your allready doing that and doing a fantastic job!

    You are NOT a loser, a loser is someone who couldn't give a shit bout anyone else's problems and thats deffiantly not you!! your one of the nicest guys iv ever talked to! and your strong feelings on abusive men just shows that you are a loving, caring man, and i personally respect and admire you for that, you mean alot to everyone here, dont forget that!
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 7, 2006
  3. Sa Palomera

    Sa Palomera Well-Known Member

    Alex :hug:

    You know how I feel about this, it really touches me and it makes me love you even more than I already do. Remember that you don't always have to be there for everyone, you should think of yourself as well, hun! :hug:

    I'm always here for you, don't ever forget that! :hug:

    *hugs tight*
    Est
     
  4. wienerman

    wienerman Guest

    thank you both, but i still feel awful, like a worthless priece of rubbish, and people are just saying these things without meaning them. actions speak louder than words :cry:
     
  5. Wonderstuff

    Wonderstuff Staff Alumni

    Well, if I could give you a big hug right now I would. You are a great guy, and not at ALL worthless or weak. I'm sorry that this kind of thing upsets you so much :( It's good that you are sensitive to the needs of others...you are just a little bit *too* sensitive perhaps, for your own good. But you are a really wonderful person who sticks up for people and is very caring, and I value your friendship and enjoy talking to you :)
    I hope you are feeling a bit better about yourself by the time you read this hun :hug: :hug: :hug:
     
  6. Hey hun...you are not worthless, the guys that do these things are the worthless pieces of sh*t...You better get that trough your head!!! Anyways, I think you are the first guy that I have met that feels remorse for what other guys have done. And to me...that means the world...So stop feeling upset hun....your a great person!!!
     
  7. BlackPegasus

    BlackPegasus Well-Known Member

    Now it makes sense why we get along. I just don't know how to go on if I cannot protect others. Nobody else gets that. now i've been there. Dealt with abusive people of all sorts and stood up for the defenseless and sometimes you get hated for it. I get threats even. I understand what you mean. I understand how you feel. Nothing can be more destructive than having that ability taken away from you. Than feeling powerless and not being able to do anything. I can't stand that feeling. :arms:

    Mia
     
  8. overwhleming

    overwhleming Active Member

    Im angered by this kind of stuff. You know those guys think they are really strong or smart doing that kind stuff. I want to kill ppl like that but i feel they are too pathetic, so in the end i just ignore them. I dont want feel guilty when i hurt someone, because they are usually weaklings even when they intend on evil, they really dont know any better, truly most are just stupid animals...
    And this world is full of them.
     
  9. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    Thank you weinerman for being the sensitive person you are. So often guys are afraid to speak out against things like this. I applaud your courage. It means a lot to me as someone who has been there. :hug:
     
  10. Flower

    Flower Member

    hi , i'd just like to say that i think you are a very caring and gentle person and from talkign to you i can tell that. it is a beautiful quality. one day somebody will appreciate it very much. i hope you're feeling better today i'm sorry if i upset you last night i didnt mean to be triggering :mellow: , just take care of yourself will ya? *hugs*
     
  11. mr_al

    mr_al Member

    Hehe i thought i was the only one who thought the way you do. Pretty much how i feel about the world really. So few good guys left in the world.