Sorry that I'm not you....

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by Ziva, Feb 23, 2011.

  1. Ziva

    Ziva Well-Known Member

    You drink, verbally abuse me, once when you were drunk or whatever(I know you were drinking)you broke my laptop in half after I told you what my ex-boyfriend did, then you said it was all my fault that you broke my laptop! And now, I decide to start drinking because I'm legal age and you flip out at me, even though I buy my own alcohol! I don't get drunk like you, I make sure that I don't get drunk since I don't want to end up as you, a verbally abusive bitch when she drinks! Which is what you become! You call me down to dirt and you wonder why I have no confidence? Well, how would you like it being told how I'm stupid and stuff nearly every day? How would you like it if I did that to you? You would expect an apology, but do you ever apologize? No, and you're MY MOTHER!!! I would move if I had a job or the money or someone else I could live with until I find a place of my own, but unfortunately, I'm stuck with you until I get enough money, get my degree, then leave this place once and for all. You have been treating me like shit since October 2009 fo what reasons I don't know and I'm SICK OF IT. Maybe I will kill myself tonight, after all, you HAVE said to me MANY times that I'm nothing but a burden and you wish you never had me. And guess what? ONLY ONCE did you apologize for saying that. And today is your birthday, so maybe I already ruined that, you told me that too, just because I had two drinks that weren't strong in alcohol last night. I didn't ruin anything in the house, didn't say anything to upset anyone, I just went to bed. My death will be a gift to you, since there will be no more burden as you have said, since you have told me that I'm nothing but a burden, and if it was up to you I wouldn't be going to supper with you and your friends tonight but I have to since you already told them. And now we have to put on this act where we're happy, since you don't want your friends to know the truth. That you hate me and think I'm nothing but a burden. Well you won't have to worry about that anymore once I die, since even though you may be "sad" at first, you will realize overtime that the burden is no longer here, and you told me before, your life would be much easier without me. So Happy Birthday. That's my gift to you. No more burden.
     
  2. Ziva

    Ziva Well-Known Member

    And unfortunately I didn't die, but when i bought your gift the next day and gave it to you, all you said was "Oh." and threw it in the corner!!!! I bought you the second season of Grey's Anatomy, which is what you said you wanted, and this is how you treat me? If I treated you like that when you gave me a gift you would call me an ungreatful bitch, which is what you are being to me!!!! I'm sick of it! If anyone here needs an attotude change it's YOU.
     
  3. doityourself

    doityourself Well-Known Member

    Ouch, Im so sorry, please work on a way to move and get yourself out of this situation.

    :hugtackles:
     
  4. Ziva

    Ziva Well-Known Member

    I've tried, I asked a friend today if maybe I could move in with him for a while(he's in a wheelchair)the next time something like this happens. He agrees it's sickening, and said the next time something like this happens and szhe says she wants me out or something I can go with him. At least I have his phone number, I don't know where he lives exactly(it's somewhere in the city since he's at the mall all the time)but I don't give a shit about paying a taxi to get there.
     
  5. doityourself

    doityourself Well-Known Member

    Be careful, keep us posted, and know that down deep she loves you but just doesnt know how to show it or was never taught. Later in life when her eyes are forced open she will say sorry and hope that you forgive her, I know it.
     
  6. stuckinchicago6

    stuckinchicago6 Well-Known Member

    I am definitely no stranger to having drama with my mother. She has gotten mad at me before and hit my laptop and threatened to break it. I wish I had an answer for you because I am in a similar situation. There are times when my mom goes crazy like yesterday because I didn't put away my laundry immediately. She went into a rage and starting calling me every name in the book. I gave her some time and she eventually calmed down, but in a few days, I am almost certain another episode will happen again. By the way, I'm sorry your mom showed no excitement or thankfulness towards your gift. It is so hard when parents are indifferent towards us, especially mothers. All I can say is that your may be living with her now, but you won't always be dependent on her. Just try to make the most of your situation now. I know it is easier said than done, but try to get out of the house even if it is only going to the mall or working out. Stay out of her way when she is angry. Maybe eventually you can get a job and save some money, which I hope to do soon as well. Hugsssss
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 26, 2011
  7. Ziva

    Ziva Well-Known Member

    Thanks, she's now accussing me of being either drunk or stoned. Which I'm neither. Lovely. But she gets drunk often. How fucking ironic. Wonder where she gets the idea? She thinks she's perfect? HA! She's FAR from perfect but will never admit it. I'm soooooooo sick of it. But we have to keep pretending she's perfect, or else she may flip out at being corrected as she has been in the past and she DID flip out. This is one sickening cycle. Wouldn't you agree?
     
  8. Ziva

    Ziva Well-Known Member

    Sorry I'm just soooooooooo pissed off right now......
     
  9. Ziva

    Ziva Well-Known Member

    Oh and for those who haven't read my previous posts that court date with that Carol bitch is in a few weeks(March 11th) and guaranteed she'lll win and will hate me, of course. I'm thinking of not bothering on wasting my money on mother's day? Why should I? To me, she's just a bicth I live with that treats me like shit that is waiting for me to get enough money to get out. Really, she's been treating me like shit since September 2002 but I'll say October 2009 only because it's been CONSTANT since then and I may get a welfare cheque(apply for one or whatever)after the court date. I CAN'T TAKE THIS ANYMORE FROM SOMEONE WHO THINKS THAT THEY ARE GOD! THEY THINK THAT WHATEVER THEY SAY IS RIGHT! WELL GUESS WHAT? IT'S NOT, SORRY TO HEAR!!!!! :sigh: AND FOR THIS PERSON, YOU'RE 55 YEARS OLD! GROW THE FUCK UP ALREADY! I'M 21 YEARS OLD AND TRIED BUT NOTHING IS GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU! SO I GIVE UP! I'VE BEEN TRYING SINCE I WAS 12 YEARS OLD AND I GIVE UP! NOTHING WILL EVER BE GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU, SINCE YOU THINK IF YOU SAY THE SKY IS PURPLE, THEN THE SKY IS PURPLE EVEN IF IT'S BLUE! I'M FINISHED!!!!!! I'M SICK OF THIS BULLSHIT! FIND SOMEONE ELSE TO BE THE ONE YOU HURT OK? BECAUSE I AM THINKING OF QUITTING AND I JUST MAY, SINCE THIS IS RUINING ME! YOU SICKEN ME YOU SELFISH BITCH! I HATE YOU FOR ALL THE GRIEF, HEARTACHE, ETC. YOU PUT ME THROUGH! AND NO, IT'S NOT "MOTHER'S WAY" WITH YOU, NOBODY WOULD PUT UP WITH WHAT I PUT UP WITH! THIS MAKES ME SICK AND I AM SICK BECAUSE OF IT! I WISH FOR DEATH EVERYDAY BECAUSE OF YOU AND TWO OTHER PEOPLE! IF YOU READ THIS HOW WOULD YOU FEEL??? PROBABLY STILL SAYING IT WAS MY FAULT I BET. BECAUSE TO YOU, EVERYTHING IS SOMEONE ELSE'S FAULT. AND YOU WONDER WHY I DRINK? I DRINK TO RELEASE THE PAIN, AND IT'S HEREDITARY AS I JUST LEARNED, SO I WONDER WHO I GOT IT FROM?!?!?!?!?!