Sorry, this post may be all over the place but I have a lot to get off my chest.

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by feelgoodlost, Mar 20, 2010.

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  1. feelgoodlost

    feelgoodlost Member

    Lately the only thing going through my head is "You're not mysterious, no one really cares enough to get to know you better." I've always been the quiet kid in school. I'm a nice guy and I get along well with others

    My friends aren't very good. One will only complain to me about his problems and acts like the lonliest person in the world and that he has never had a relationship, even though he has had many relationships in the past. He only has relationships because he just wants sex and I hate that. The other two just shrug me off.

    I live in a small town where I hardly fit in. I've had a few girls in the past that have held interest in me. Only one of them i almost had a relationship with, but i was the one that backed out. (This was a few months ago)

    I'm a month away from 17 and I haven't even kissed a girl. People are shocked when i tell them this.

    When I see couples together I have to look away because It hurts. I just have this over whelming feeling that I'm destined to be lonely for the rest of my life.

    I had a dream last night where it was in the future and I was married and when i woke up I just didn't want to get out of bed, I was filled with disappointment over the fact that it wasn't real. So i just laid there staring out the window.

    I just stopped caring about everything and everyone. I have stopped feeling emotions, I just feel like an empty shell. I have forgotten what it was like to be truly happy. I have forgotten what it feels like to cry. I just feel numb.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 20, 2010
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Hey you it is hard being so young your hormones all over the place not sure what direction you want in life yet. Don't worry about serious relationships at your age you are just too young for that Go out as groups get involved in sports in interest of your own you will meet new people that way When you go to college lots of new people there. If you are depressed it will be hard to meet people because no one wants to be around someone that is down. Talk to your doctor see what he says maybe get someone to talk to you a coucillor but know things will change for you and you will meet that someone special Just get out there and enjoy living okay so you meet someone with your same interest take care keep posting okay and please try not to worry.
     
  3. empty101

    empty101 Well-Known Member

    don't worry bud I know 17 seems like a really old age to have never kissed a girl but it's not uncommon. I don't think I kissed a girl by that age.

    If you're not mentally/emotionally in the same state as other people your age, it's just not likely to happen. It's usually a lot easier when you get older. Dating/being with girls isn't as much of a game as you age.

    My suggestion: work towards longer term goals that will help you in the future. For example, spend the time you'd spend being depressed about girls doing something like learning to play guitar or getting smarter. Then, when you're older, and girls are more mature, they'll be impressed and see more to you. At your age it's more about hormones, aggression and being "cool". Once you age, it'll probably be more about the things you're good at.

    There are plenty of meaningful relationships waiting for you (at least 1, I promise) so just hold it out for a while.

    Edit: And BTW, this is a suicideforum and pretty much everyone here has been depressed. We all had to let stuff off our chest at one point or another and it's totally cool. If there's one place to let it all loose, it's in front of a bunch of people who have been where you are and most importantly you get to let it out where you are anonymous.
     
  4. Tane

    Tane Active Member

    I've never kissed a girl either.
     
  5. cloud9

    cloud9 Well-Known Member

    Hey,

    I think the others are right. Don't worry about never having kissed a girl at the age of 17. I am 22 myself right now and have never kissed a girl either. I think its the sort of thing that'll just happen when you eventually do find ms. right.

    Empty101 had a good suggestion about focussing on other areas of your life. Maybe its playing the guitar or maybe its playing sports. Find something and become passionate about it. It will be a great stress reliever down the road when things get tough. Also, he has a point girls will find those kind of talents attractive to some degree. Doesn't hurt to focus on them now right? Think of it as a long-term investment that will pay dividends much later lol.

    If I can give you any advice I wish someone had given me at your age is to stick with whatever it is you pick up whether its sports or some other hobby. I played a lot of rugby in high school and wish I stuck it out and played varsity in University. It didn't happen and I do play intramurals now and then but the truth is, its just not the same. I'm competitive and intramurals just don't meet that need for competition that I do have. So whatever it is you do decide to pick, stick with it and make it a life long passion.

    Have fun!
     
  6. fabiola7386

    fabiola7386 Member

  7. Feiticeira

    Feiticeira Member

    Hello, feelgoodlost!
    I just want to say that I totally understand how the "not fitting in my small town" thing works. I was the same, until I moved away to go to college. Someone said that in college you'll meet a lot of new people. He/she was right. In the last few months, I met so many people that I feel like home and I barely go visit my parents on holiday, when I stay at home for a few days and can't wait to get back to my "new home", as I call it.

    About relationships and the fact that you've never kissed a girl. I have a brother your age who was in the same situation until a few months ago. You know why he's not in that situation anymore? Because he followed my advice. The same advice I'm going to give you: stop thinking of that! Girls can see when a guy is desperate to have a relationship and at this age, it's a bit frightening, because teenager girls [and boys, for that matter] only want to have fun. And they want a guy to have fun with. Go to the movies, go dancing, go to the concerts and so on and so forth. I can assure you that there very few teenager girls that would be enthuziastic about a 17 years old guy who dreams of marriage and kids. At your age, relationships come and go. So stop being so focused on having a relationship. Just go out and socialize. And be rest assured that girls will eventually come to you.
    And one more advice: be careful! From my own experience, I can tell you that relationships can be painful and distructive if you invest too much in the wrong person.

    Good luck with everything!
     
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