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Sorry to be a burden!!!

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by ShadedSoul, Aug 26, 2009.

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  1. ShadedSoul

    ShadedSoul Well-Known Member

    I just don't know what to do anymore..

    I can't do this anymore. I am so sick of pretending everything is ok..

    I'm sorry for being a burden, on everyone how am was I supposed to know they didn't want me around. Thanks for telling me though I appreciate it....NOT!!

    My doctors have told me I have schizophrenia, it scares me. I am trying to be a good person but I just can't seem to do it, I stuff everything up. I can't even get motherhood right and my poor daughter is suffering because I can't get my shit together. I have failed her!

    For all those people who have hurt me, they know who they are.....I hate you so much, there are no words in my vocabulary to express how much hate I have for you. I hope you never hurt anyone the way you have hurt me because I'm telling you now enough is enough..

    To everyone else I am just sorry, sorry for everything.

    I give up!!
  2. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    Hun I'm sorry that you've been hurt and I would say it sounds like by people you trusted. As for the diagnosis, yes it's scary to put a name to something that has been tormenting you. But atleast now the doc can start looking into treatments that willhelp you. Now you can start to really fight the problem head on. And please dont think you are a burden. You have mental health issues, that doesnt make you a burden. It makes you someone that needs some support and care. Please dont give up. You have something to focus on now. So please get all the information you can on schizophrenia so you will know what the positive steps are that you will encounter on your recovery. Please keep posting. People do care!!!
  3. Polar

    Polar Account Closed

    Hi ShadedSoul,

    I'm so sorry to hear about what you're going through. :sad:

    You may think you have failed your daughter but my strong guess is you haven't. You're a very loving and caring person towards everybody including myself and I wouldn't think you put less into motherhood.

    It must be hard finding out what you've got. I'm not trying to make you feel bad but I've been misdiagnosed for the last ten years and I'm so scared because I don't know what I've got. Does it make you feel better knowing that you have something and you can do something about it? Also, this is a question which is personal and I only expect you to answer it to yourself but do you agree with the diagnosis? if you do, you can work on this and you have so many steps forward you can take.

    You're not a burden at all. Actually, I'm pleased you had the courage and the common sense to post here and share with us what's been happening. People really think highly of you here and they would only want to help.

    As for those people who hurt you, I'm so sorry. At least you can say that you're living a life where you try not to do this and that is something I think you and your daughter would be very proud of.

    Take care and I hope you feel better soon.

    Kind regards,

  4. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Just wanted you to know they have some excellent meds for skyzaphrenia.. I was diagnosed with it about seven months ago.. My med they have me on has helped alot with the things I was seeing and that voice that kept telling me all those lies..Go thru with the treatment and give it time to work... I think you will be happy again..
  5. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I am sorry you are hurting and know your daughter loves you and understands more than you think It is good you have a diagnosis now they can help you get stable. I have 2 brothers a twin now my daughter with this illness and they are stable with their meds they are leading productive lifes My daughter is just getting help now to get stable. Please know we care here about you and who ever hurt you should be ashamed of themselves but we care okay. Keep posting let us know how you are doing.
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