Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by MoAnamCara, Jan 5, 2014.

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  1. MoAnamCara

    MoAnamCara SF Artist

    I'm sorry for everything. For being me, the person I am. For being this stupid person, mean and idiotic. I'm sorry for not being more caring, for being selfish. I'm sorry that I haven't been truthful to those who may have been able to help professionally. I'm sorry but I have stockpiled meds again. This very moment things are crashing or I am crashing I suppose. What is the point of this constant struggle, this up and down and foolishness? I wish for some relief but I am afraid there is only one way to achieve that.
  2. flowers

    flowers Senior Member

    Mo, you are not any of those bad things you think you are. You are in great pain though. Please do not do anything. Beause I am not sure that taking ones life brings the relief that they seek. I know you are in such great enormous pain. But please do not do anything to take your life.

    I do think that you will find a way to be truthful with one or more of the professionals. I kmow you feel so all alone. And that feeling is so very real. I could say I am here. And I am. But that doesnt change that feeling. And I know that. I want you to live. That might be selfish of me. But also I believe you will find healing. Enough healing so life is not this horribly painful so much of the time. :hug:
  3. MoAnamCara

    MoAnamCara SF Artist

    But when it feels like I can't, then what? Why do this. On and on and on?
  4. flowers

    flowers Senior Member

    Well if you cant be more truthful then you cant. But that doesnt mean all opportunity for healing is failed. I do'nt think it works like that. And if it does, then I'm screwed. :arms:

    I can tell you why I do this. Its because as gruesome as it is, I still think that there is a reason I am here. And I cannot throw away that reason/lifetime. And then find out when its too late that as horrible as it was, I honestly was not as off the plan as I thought. And then what? I could say more, but it probably would best be left to pm. :hug: I care. And I know this is so horrendous for you.

    I hope it was okay to write this answer here. I tried to not be specific. If mod wants to edit it out then thats okay with me.
  5. MessengerFromHell

    MessengerFromHell Well-Known Member

    Never be sorry for who you are
  6. BornFree

    BornFree Well-Known Member

    Mo :arms: have no explanations, answers, helpful responses no words only that its my heartfelt request to please stay, please don't... delay it put it off please? Here if you want x
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