Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by Vitreledonellidae, Dec 3, 2007.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. Vitreledonellidae

    Vitreledonellidae Well-Known Member

    I dont know if I should feel good or bad right now. An old friend invited me to her birthday, I havent seen her for 9 months. She used to be my best friend. And Im so lucky she gives me this chance. She's trying to keep me in her life. I dont deserve that. But it has been 9 fucking months. And her birthday is 19 december. I have 16 days left to loose weight. I need to lose weight. Other old friends will be there too. They need to notice I lost weight. I dont want that everything I've gone through wont be noticed >< And I really want to go, I want to see her, I dont want to let her down, she doesnt deserve that. But I promised myself I can only go if I lost 10 pounds. I started saturday with trying to lose weight and I've lost 3,5 pounds now. I feel good and bad about that. Took diet pills again, I threw up a lot on saturday and sunday, not today, today I didnt eat a lot, my hands were shaking today, because of the pills, black infront of my eyes, dizzy, feeling like fainting, feels again how it was a few months ago. And to be honest it feels good. It feels like losing weight. And I'm not an idiot, I know this is stupid, this is so fucking stupid. Especially if you know how much better I'm doing. But I need to, I really need to. So I just want to say Im sorry to my parents, sis, therapist and friends from sf. And sorry for this rambling. I dunno why I said it, I guess because I wanted to let you know I lost 3,5 pounds and also to let you know what an idiot i am. In my head it seemed longer what I wanted to tell, but i guess this is all
  2. Marshmallow

    Marshmallow Staff Alumni

    First of all you have no reason to say sorry. Secondly is good to see you around here again. I've been wondering how you've been doing.

    You we're doing so well hun, you don't need to lose the weight to impress your friends. They love you for you not how much you weigh! You said you wanted to see! You said you wanted to see them, then go hun. Don't let this control you. We all want whats best for you and that includes being healthy!

    Please stay safe,

    and sorry for the crap reply.

    Love you,

    Vikkers x
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.