sorry

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by MoAnamCara, Mar 15, 2011.

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  1. MoAnamCara

    MoAnamCara SF Artist

    seems to always be me needing something. needing to talk, needing support, needing to express something that i can't comprehend myself.

    sorry i cant give more. sorry i am me. sorry i am selfish.

    how the hell can i get out of this cycle, why must the mind go "there". I dont want it to, I don't even want to do anything about those thoughts, but I still go there and immerse myself.

    How do we get rid of the thoughts? of the things that have hurt us? that cause us to slink back to that comfortable place of discontent? of wishing we weren't here? of wanting to run away? of being ungrateful and miserable and self absorbed it seems?
     
  2. Terry

    Terry Antiquities Friend Staff Alumni

    Its not selfish to need comfort and solace. :hug:

    With regard to the things in the past that keep coming back, have you seen a counsellor or therapist?
    Sometimes the only way to put past things where they belong is to have them out and aired,
    Examining painful memories and sharing them is a way to put them firmly in the past, not forgotten but dealt with and moved away from.
     
  3. may71

    may71 Well-Known Member

    what terry said sounds good.

    I don't know what to say, not letting the past overwhelm you can be difficult.

    I hope that you find a way for things to get better!

    :hug:
     
  4. MoAnamCara

    MoAnamCara SF Artist

    Thank you Terry & May71

    But when it is a continuous request on my part, a one way street so to speak, then I think it most definitely is selfish.

    And to think on those who have things & life so much worse than I, it doesn't make sense then why I cannot simply be happy. Why not live to the fullest? What is holding me back? The answer is myself.

    I am in therapy but have been unable to explore certain things as trying has resulted in unpleasant feelings and thoughts. I was doing so much better, yet now I find myself moving backwards.

    And for me to expect that the same people here that have welcomed me and talked with me and helped me, to always have to do such, is not fair and is selfish. So, for that, I am truly sorry.

    I'm unsure where to turn for that comfort that it seems I need. Is it comfort, or what is it really? Am I expecting a magic potion to fix all? Am I expecting too much? of others and of myself?

    Only I can help myself and if I fail at that, then its only myself I can be upset and angry with, but will never apologize to.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 15, 2011
  5. may71

    may71 Well-Known Member

    I think it's ok to ask for help here, that's what this site is about. If someone doesn't want to help you, I guess that they just won't post.

    If you feel like you should be doing more for others, you could post on other people's threads too.

    I don't think that you have to worry that asking for help is selfish.
     
  6. MoAnamCara

    MoAnamCara SF Artist

    May

    its just me.

    Nevermind, sorry, yet again

    Thanks
     
  7. hollowvoice

    hollowvoice Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    will you stop apologising !!!!!!!
    were all here to support others in times of crisis and this is your crisis time so we will support you ok
    its fine you want to help others and you helped me the other day so enough of this selfish nonsense
    your giving everything you can and we are all grateful
    the therapy or meds will come good im mixing and matching this lot kind a work but make me a little angry
    so please do everything you can to feel better
    AND STOP APOLOGISING ....LOL
    hugsxx
     
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