sorry

[icequeen]

just wanted to touch base. i thought i posted this once but maybe not.

therapy has been dreadful and left me in a dark dark place this week, but today therapist was really understanding and has suggested that we take a few sessions off original reason for therapy and deal with what has come to surface, i.e. childhood abuse. this has terrified me and left me shaking in his office and has resulted in some worsening si altho i didnt tell me him but described it as major meltdown.

have to decide between now and next week which way to go with dealing with this..either rewind technique or full on. therapist is of opinion that full on is best altho its down to me. either way fills me with horror.

anyway, just wanted to let all you good peeps know i am thinking of you all and your pain, and hope you can stay grounded and accept any help offered. its really tough out there and i have to believe we can get through it.

thank you all for your support and hope to get head in better place to support everyone else.

take care and try and stay strong.

xx
:hug:

 

[Stranger1]

Hey Icequeen,
Good to hear from you..My opinion is to just go with your gut feeling.. Nothing says you have to keep talking about it.. Just tell your therapist when you had enough because you are becoming uncomfortable.. I do think you need to let those demons out.. Just remeber you are in control not him..

 

[MoAnamCara]

Icequeen

You have no reason to say sorry to anyone here. You are trying to look after yourself and that should indeed come first.

I echo what stranger said. I know its so hard, just try your best. If you go ahead and disclose, please ensure you are grounded before you leave therapy. Ask for help re SI, please. Other ways to cope when thoughts come to mind and become too much to handle.

Thinking of you, please take care.

 

[icequeen]

thanks guys

session today was really hard but therapist was really kind and didnt push
but with gentle probing got me to get the basics out. next week he wants to deal with it in much more detail which is scary but has told me i can contact him any time.

now i have released the demon maybe i can exorcise him.

will be back to support everyone once the mind chatter slows enough for me to make sense of my thoughts.

everyone take care, there is hope out there no matter how much we dont believe it and i can say that from experience i have a wonderful therapist and today i acknowledge i trust him.

stay safe...

xxxxxx

 

[MoAnamCara]

:console:

 

[icequeen]

thanks guys, had double appts today. community guy and OT lady. was really anxious today and si was getting an issue but now i listened to you peeps and let on to therapist he will discuss in session tomorrow. community guy today asked if i wanted to go back to hospital due to si..needless to say that was a none starter.

i never expected fighting the demons would be so hard, but if i can survive
it so can you all...hold on, and maybe if they get me in a good place we can have afternoon tea!!!

you guys have kept me grounded...and i am grateful for that and its unfortunate last few weeks have been living hell.

take care all, stay safe and positive even if you dont feel like it, sometimes the devil wears an odd disguise. xxx

 

[Speedy]

From what I see, you're staying strong whilst trying to exorcise those demons (which I'm sure you will exorcise!). Keep up the good work! :hugtackles:

 

[MoAnamCara]

Only if afternoon tea includes champagne!!!

good job, hug

 

[starryeyed]

i hope youre feeling better .Im proud of you to go through your past with the therapist .maybe releasing it will exorcise indeed.you deserve peace of mind.Stay strong.