Soul met body tonight

Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by Cortez, Jan 13, 2012.

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  1. Cortez

    Cortez Banned Member

    Sliced and diced my arms tonight, now my arms are starting to sting....good....euphoria. A beautiful expression to my body from my soul, telling it how much I hate myself, letting it know how much of a piece of shit I am.
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    That is your depression telling you all those things that are simple not true I am sorry you had to self harm to cope hun hugs
  3. ThinkingCap

    ThinkingCap Well-Known Member

    I'm with total eclipse here, it's far easier to believe that you're a piece of shit and not worth anything than to see the truth for once. To see that there are things that are worthwhile in you, to see your good parts. Have you tried talking to your body in ways other than cutting (i.e. exercise, drawing, dancing, etc)? There are other ways to feel euphoria that don't include potentially permanent scarring.
  4. Cortez

    Cortez Banned Member

    I did it again last night and tonight....a lot, I feel like if I keep going at this rate..there will be no more room left on my arms. Good thing it is winter, as I only wear long sleeves. The cutting is triggered by anger, anger and hatred, both inward and outward, I am a very hateful person. I have nothing left to do with this anger, unless I plan to get arrested and sent upstate for a long time, so I turn it inwards, but it is rightfully so as my body is deserving of this as I hate my body and how I look; the anger was not wasted, it just found an outlet that will keep quiet and safe, for me and everyone.
  5. crystalclear

    crystalclear Well-Known Member

    is it possible for you to displace your anger on other things? you know, without harming your self... music? arts? or even a journal?
  6. Cortez

    Cortez Banned Member

    I did it again tonight. The anger and hate rose too much for me today to ignore it. I did a few slashes on my right arm and I managed to write a word on my left. I haven't been feeling that well recently. I don't feel like going to school, but I do everyday. I have to be on campus every single day this semester. I really want to cool off, leave the world for a while; I don't like or understand people, so why should I be around them so much?
  7. Cortez

    Cortez Banned Member

    I'm really sorry for cutting, sorry and ashamed; this is going to stop.
  8. Cortez

    Cortez Banned Member

    Trying to decide where on my body I should do it tonight.
  9. Cortez

    Cortez Banned Member

    I ought to cut my fuckin face; piece of shit that I seem to be.
  10. poster2747

    poster2747 Member

    Sorry you are feeling so low.

    May you gradually learn to love yourself, so you feel no need to do this damage to yourself.

    I also hurt myself but in a diferent way to cutting.
  11. Cortez

    Cortez Banned Member

    A girl hurt my feelings today, time to cut...again.
  12. Cortez

    Cortez Banned Member

    Now I feel a whole lot better about this, though it stings.
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