Sould i tell

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by kissing_rose_thorns, May 18, 2014.

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  1. kissing_rose_thorns

    kissing_rose_thorns New Member

    my mom knows that I used to self harm and I still do from time to time but she thinks I've stopped I used to tell her everything but lately I don't want to tell her anything... I just don't want her to feel that burden of worrying about me all the time... and lately she always says or does little things that really hurt my feeling like when we get into an argument if she finds me crying its like she gets mad saying the I'm too sensitive and that I always get mad at her...I don't know maybe I am being too sensitive she says im just emotional and that she thinks that I just want to have a problem that I have nothing to be sad about, but its not like I can help it I mean if I could do you think I would choose to feel like this...really? The other day we got into alittle argument and I went outside with my <Mod Edit: Methods> and sat in my hiding place <Mod Edit: Methods> for a good while...but I just couldn't go through with it...she found me because my dog (he stays with me wherever I go) and started fussing at me (I took the rope off because I heard her coming so she doesn't know) I know she was just worried... we sat outside and talked and I cried (some how most of the conversation was about her)...but anyway I don't know if I should tell her... is it even worth telling, I mean I didn't really go all the way...sorry this was sooo long.

    P.S. thanks if you read this all I just needed to vent
    Last edited by a moderator: May 19, 2014
  2. NickA8326

    NickA8326 Active Member

    I think that no matter what you explain and show to some people, they will just push it away so they don't have to be a part of it, this I found, is common in human nature, and you will be experiencing this from many people for the rest of your interactions with people. It's even more difficult when you have a problem like depression and self harming, because not only will a weak person simply push that topic away to avoid the pain, but it's not some small talk thing that they can eventually muster up the will power to cave in and talk to you about for the most part (speaking for that type of a person who likes to avoid things that they don't like anyways, I am not one of those people but I lived with one). If you're a teenager, then it's normal for you to be trying to connect with people for most of everything, that's how they teach you in school (the buddy systems) and that's how younger people think, but when you get older, you realize that it is a gift that you can think of these difficult issues, that it is an advantage that you have, that you lose the desire of your peers to be strong enough to be like you because they are not you, and will never be. Every doctor and counselor I ever went to was a waste of time besides learning first hand how useless and stupid that it is to me. They acted like your mom, and my mom acts like your mom in this regard as well. They're all a bunch of babies that don't want to think of difficulties because they want to be in their imaginary feel-good bubble. That's why they give you pills and send you away, because they don't know how to help you, and they can't, so they shove you away and make up excuses and try to change who you are to someone else with pills because they are not good enough.
  3. Caminho - lunar

    Caminho - lunar Active Member

    Hi kissing_rose_thorns I really don't know what to say to help. Just want you to know I listen and I'm sorry that you are in such a great pain.
  4. sudut

    sudut Well-Known Member

    maybe its coz she gets hurt when she sees u cry.
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