souless body

I found the woman of my life. She left me in march of this year after over a year of dating. we were married when she left.

my life has not mentally progressed since then. for the past 6 months i only slept every other night so i can feel life. i strive for difficulty in my life.

Im an attractive 24 year old, bright, charismatic, have a lot of friends. but none of this matters.

I died the night she left on march 17th at 11pm. since then ive been floating in a vessal. why? there is no return from this.

She was me. i found myself with her. when she left, i died right there.

im not even suicidal, really. ive been living without anykind of progression since then. I've already killed myself.

so now what? i cannot feel, i do not care.. im dead.

whats next

 

Hi and welcome...you probably might not want to hear this now, but I was in a similar situation when I broke up with my ex...the difference is, I left him, and did not know that I was leaving him to be lost and lifeless...in essence, I walked to what seemed like my own death...it took work to find myself again, the caring of friends, and a wise therapist to get me to breathe without crying and begin to live for me...whenever we are stuck in the grieving process, I think we need help...from what you said, you have many resources, this might be the best time to use them...I used to say that I was noone without him, when, in fact, I had no idea who I was without him...I have a better understanding today...hope you stay and find the support you need now...welcome again, J

 

Welcome to SF! :hug:

 

Hi hun I do hope you can reach out for some therapy you have suffered a loss hun you need to grieve and learn to move on now and find someone new okay a therapist will show you how to let go of the sadness and medication for your depression will help the sadness not be so deep. hugs to you

 

You thought you had found the woman of your life.

Been there mate!

It is bad - and reminds me of the John Lee Hooker song 'When my first wife left me' in which JL Hooker informs us that...

"When my first wife left me
She left my heart in misery
And ever since that day boys
I don't think I'll ever love no-one again"

So - sure - feeling bad is RIGHT - your a man and make no apologies for feeling how you feel - you loved a woman and would have shouted it from the rooftops - right?

I've not been married - but lets face it - you can love a woman more not being married to her! But sure - marriage is the right thing if you love each other. However it is a risk. The main thing is to not get married in a hurry. The reason being is that lust itself - that physical fun - can easily become so heady and passionate that you assume its love.

It might be - and hopefully if people are nice to each other then even a casual affair can have some emotional attachment.

But it takes time to know people. I'm old enough now to know that its easy for a man or woman to make mistakes. Mostly - the biggest mistake is not courting a potential partner. Maybe you did bro - you sound like you'd be up for romance - many men are - but who gives us flowers?

We get them when we die - which is a real treat - lol.

But - lets face it guys - flowers? lol - we love gadgets!

Anyhow - divorce after a year - it does happen but its up to you to at least try and be good about this. Sometimes if you love someone you have to set them free - you have to accept they need space - and allow them it.

I guess you've told your wife about your depression?

Or has this just come about due to the break-up? If so its good - I mean - at least you know that losing a woman CAN make you feel this way - and I accept it mate - of course - why would you NOT feel this way?

But feeling it and doing it - we have to draw the line!!

Your wife would be heartbroken if you did go. Your family also - friends.

Anyhow - are you working mate?

you say your a handsome fellow - sorry I'm not gay as I guess you'd buy me an ipad for my birthday and take me to watch Saw 7 - romantic guys night out - lol. No offence to gay people! I love you and care. Sure I do.

So - ultimately mate - you got to accept the change which has happened. Someone here - a user - explained how you CAN love someone and its a one way thing - but its still real! However - you have to accept that love is a carefully balanced situation - its easy at first - sooooo easy. But then you get to really know each other. This is when the 100% becomes the 99% - and that 1% doubt with love - if someone has that - we have to stand back - explain how we feel - but try and be a good man - make your woman feel like your not going to be an issue for her. She is likely as upset as you - and maybe - there is a chance of reconciliation.

I've seen a lot of situations like this - always observe them and work what is wrong.

I can never work out what women are thinking with respects to love. They have their own process mate - and all we can do is try and keep the peace and try to be nice to her. A woman always chooses a man. You have to kind of accept that no man has the right to expect a woman to love him based on the love he might feel for her.

We fall deep - men I mean - and woman have to sort of hold back a little as they have more to lose.

I know its hits your confidence being rejected - but its not a rejection that is personal - I mean do not take is a sign your are not a good man, great lover and good company when your on your game.

Its just a stutter stumble.

You got a lot to live for.

A woman is a like a band - its hard to find the right one.

 

The entire post by Peace is pure Sage, but i'm going to pick these quotes out as the strongest thoughts in my humble opinion.

My two-bob for what its worth............. I loved my ex wife with all my heart, she is the mother of our two beautiful children too.
A big part, but not all, of the reason i am on this forum.
This has taken me nigh on three years to work out............ why would i want to be with someone who doesn't love me as i do them?
We all deserve to be loved as much as we love, without the same reciprocated love, well, it just feels empty, kinda sad and worthless.

To move forward?
Well, don't do what i did.
Become whole again before you try to give a piece of yourself away and even attempt to have another girlfriend.
Love is so, so, so random.
You will know when it has occured, try not to find comfort in neediness of anothers arms.
Wait, you so deserve it.
Your post is one of wisdom its self, you just have to read it properly.
Good luck, we are all very different, let your heart be mended with your own love-glue first, only then can anothers love tend the scars.