You know when people ask you what you like to do, and you really have to dig deep and avoid saying SF if you would like to keep it a secret?
Well, most of us know what it's like to feel suicidal and helpless.. it's a terrible feeling, something that I think one has to experience in order to realize the magnitude of pain it leads to. What some people in real life fail to realize, IMHO, is that there is a certain amount of rational thought that goes into suicidal feelings. It's not like we are thinking 100% irrationally. We're just people who have a part of us that doesn't want to live. Even then, months without serious suicidality can really give me a false sense of "hey, being suicidal doesn't feel that bad... Yeah, yeah, I can relate to how you're feeling.."
While I know how many want to move on, I feel like the sense of knowing what exactly it's like to feel suicidal can sort of erode.. if that's not too strong of a word. And I think that's where documenting our thoughts really keeps history alive and speaking. Without a doubt, it's painful for me to look back at my old posts on here. Every once in a while, another member will come ask me if he or she can delete old posts of his or hers.
With that said, this post is a reminder of what you feel about being suicidal at this moment in time, Alex. Nothing will change that.
Helpless, desperate, and throwing the blame upon yourself.
Those are the three words/phrases that describe my thoughts for today. Oh, and need I not forget that SF sparkles brilliantly. It's simple, it's no $$ moneymaker, and I love it just the same. At the end of the day, it's potentially a life changer and life saver for some. Those may be strong words, but I think that makes the point even clearer. So thanks.
Alex
Well, most of us know what it's like to feel suicidal and helpless.. it's a terrible feeling, something that I think one has to experience in order to realize the magnitude of pain it leads to. What some people in real life fail to realize, IMHO, is that there is a certain amount of rational thought that goes into suicidal feelings. It's not like we are thinking 100% irrationally. We're just people who have a part of us that doesn't want to live. Even then, months without serious suicidality can really give me a false sense of "hey, being suicidal doesn't feel that bad... Yeah, yeah, I can relate to how you're feeling.."
While I know how many want to move on, I feel like the sense of knowing what exactly it's like to feel suicidal can sort of erode.. if that's not too strong of a word. And I think that's where documenting our thoughts really keeps history alive and speaking. Without a doubt, it's painful for me to look back at my old posts on here. Every once in a while, another member will come ask me if he or she can delete old posts of his or hers.
With that said, this post is a reminder of what you feel about being suicidal at this moment in time, Alex. Nothing will change that.
Helpless, desperate, and throwing the blame upon yourself.
Those are the three words/phrases that describe my thoughts for today. Oh, and need I not forget that SF sparkles brilliantly. It's simple, it's no $$ moneymaker, and I love it just the same. At the end of the day, it's potentially a life changer and life saver for some. Those may be strong words, but I think that makes the point even clearer. So thanks.
Alex
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