speed freak :(

Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by jcat, May 1, 2011.

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  1. jcat

    jcat Staff Alumni

    its calling me. the speed. i get paid tuesday and plan to get some that day or the following. my meds are not working, i dont know what else to do. i need help but afraid to ask. UGH!!!! i need to get high. its been over 3 years since ive shot speed. but i crave it. i dream about it. its all i think about. the voices are telling me i need it. i know what will happen though. ill end up doing more and then doing things i shouldnt be doing in order to get more. i used to be a bad person. i dont want to go back to that. but i cant see any other thing to do. HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  2. Ringo

    Ringo Well-Known Member

    Speed is a horrible drug. Really messes you up. The comedown is enough to put me off the stuff for life.
  3. icequeen

    icequeen Well-Known Member

    stay here and rant and hopefully the urge will pass... good luck, dont give up :D
  4. jxdama

    jxdama Staff Member Safety & Support

    i wish i could help. ask your uncle for help.
  5. lightbeam

    lightbeam Antiquities Friend

    Jason, everyone in chat worries about you and your fragile state. We are all here to help. Let us know what we can do for you, and we will do our best to help you through this.
  6. jcat

    jcat Staff Alumni

    thanks everyone. im just...idi the voices are screaming right now and telling me that youll all hurt me in the end. idk what to believe. them or you? UGH\
    i just dont know what to do?????????????????????????????????????????//
  7. lightbeam

    lightbeam Antiquities Friend

    We can help! And for those of us that know you better (like the people in chat), trust us.
  8. peacelovingguy

    peacelovingguy Well-Known Member

    I used to be addicted to speed as in amphetamine sulphate.

    Last used it 20 odd years ago or so - never really kept my diaries back far - I always burn them every so often.

    Anyhow, I guess I started on speed in my late teens and early twenties. Got to the point were for a couple of years, I was using at least Friday, Saturday and Sunday. Often as not a Wednesday night special might be on the cards also. I'm talking going to the pub, drinking, taking maybe just a half gram or quarter gram, £5 and £2.50 respectively This would keep you up all night, even if you drank 8 pints!

    Many of my friends would dabble a little bit. Speed was fashionable in the UK in the 80s, just before cocaine came it was the only drug most drinkers would be able to handle. It was also a drug that bought confidence to the user - this is dangerous as if you suffer from depression speed can seem like a brilliant idea. It brings you 'out of yourself' and would give someone a bit shy enough confidence to ask for a date.

    Whether she actually takes to you speeded up to the eyeballs, picking over a meal you cannot eat, is another thing. In my experience, speed is more likely to just make you the kind of man who lives for one night stands, pubs, drink, parties and a bit of hedonism to match. Your normal mates or friends will TELL YOU that your a pain on speed. After all sometimes you go for a quiet pint - a genuine couple of pints, mid-week. With speed, nothing is quiet - your practically shouting at people sometimes - and that's not a good idea were I live.

    Speed, like I say, gives you confidence. The confidence is 'real' in that adrenalin and the feel-good chemicals are firing on all cylinders. It is false in that you have NOT EARNED that confidence, so you generally fritter it away talking to other speed heads, drunkards and anyone who will listen to you. Men tend to make bad choices with woman and women likewise with men. It can fire up your sexual prowess but long term its well known for dampening the libido. There is actually little feeling or connection on it though - you need an audience - you'd have a one night stand just for that reason.

    Giving up speed was the best thing I ever done at the time. I gave up after a few years messing about and the comedown afterwards was HARD. I felt weak as a new born kitten - the heights of confidence I got to were replaced by low depths of feeling like sh**.

    Lucky thing is it gets flushed out of the system in a few weeks - eat well and you soon recover physically. Mentally it hits you also - relying on it for confidence does not work and these days I'm just happy speed is not on the menu for me. Took me months to regain a mental equilibrium afterwards.

    It does call me now and again though, but each year free from it the call gets less and less. I'd sooner stay in and babysit or polish the ornaments these days.

    Then again I know that one good night on speed means the rest of the week feeling screwed up.

    Like anything , its your choice, but if your prone to depression and have not gained social confidence, keep away from it as it's very addictive indeed.

    Advantages, I'll bet students will be back to using it due to its ability to make caffeine seem like the babies milk drink at night. I once played a guitar for so long that I thought I was actually losing it!

    Would have learnt the same jamming and in bands but the intensity of speed might be best for work and not socialising.

    Its well known the US Army uses speed, plus the UK and others all throw out the pharms to enable soldiers to work longer hours and win freedom or something.

    Even kids get it for not paying enough attention - it works, but so would the threat of detention, a class window open and a decent breakfast in them.

    VERY powerful drug, works instantly (as soon as its absorbed into the blood stream) and lasts a long time, unlike coke which sees people spend £100 for the same hours per buck as £5 worth of speed.

    Can literally send you insane, psychosis, let alone depression!

    Used as a dieting aid by many women.

    I'd sooner have a women who might be overweight but is not yapping her head off at 3.00am whilst your thinking how good you'll feel with 3 hours sleep and a 12 hour shift.

    Seems like a good idea, but it always ends up a bad one for many who like it the first time. It's all too easy to get into the habit of using every weekend but that newfound confidence will likely not last 6 months before other areas of your life begin to get affected.

    Anyhow, as regards for love - you ought to be excited enough to not want to sleep if the mood is right. That is a natural high - and its good to have an all night natural high now and again! I'm talking about being in someone's company, not a night of passion.

    So, speed, for me at least, is a diversion if you take to it. As a drug used now and again or just the once, it seems to have a less fatal effect than most others. It is not an hallucinogenic but a strong speed and a lack of several nights sleep can lead to an almost psychosis.

    Handle with care if you are going to do it. You know the rules, but you also seem to know that if it feels good then those 3 years could be out the window and you might easily be making plans to buy more the moment that good old feeling courses through your veins and your outlook becomes more optimistic.
  9. carley5

    carley5 Banned Member

    Jason - tell those voices to f off and listen to the people who care about you honey. You know where I am if you want to talk about it.
    Sending big hugs.
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