Spinning my wheels and getting nowhere, how do I deal with it?

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by NotThisLife, Sep 13, 2010.

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  1. NotThisLife

    NotThisLife Well-Known Member

    Recently, many of my friends returned to college, leaving me feeling quite down. One friend of mine has begun writing his thesis, and hopes to get a PhD in about 8 months. Many of my other friends are nearing their academic goals as well.

    Why does this leave me feeling like Sh*t? Well, because I wish I was them. I miss the college atmosphere. I miss the challenge. But most of all, I miss the feeling of having a future. I miss feeling like any career I wanted to pursue was at my fingertips.

    I dropped out of college when I was 22, my GPA was 3.8. I just got depressed and walked away. I was on financial aid, and when you drop out you have to repay the system. I owe over 1,000$ before I can ever even dream of returning to school, and now that I have a criminal record how is an education going to help me anyway? And with my massive debts it's not like I can just start saving to pay off financial aid if/when I get a job.

    They are all out with either jobs, school or both. My friends are all getting new cars and Xbox 360's and generally succeeding in life. Meanwhile I sit here living with my mom at age 25, no job, no car, no hope.

    I just wish I could give my friends 100% support, without this small deviant part of me hoping they drop out and or get fired and join me in future-less despair.
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 13, 2010
  2. Viro

    Viro Well-Known Member

    I understand your feeling of hopelessness. Still, you have to look at things frankly. Is that $1000 the only debt you are in? That is far from an unpayable sum. Just because you have a criminal record does not mean you can't get an education, or that you don't need one. Having one will help employers look past your history with the police.
  3. NotThisLife

    NotThisLife Well-Known Member

    No, I'm in debt with everyone from family members to Geico. I have unpaid bills from my last suicide attempt. In all I'd guess my total debt is around 3-4 thousand dollars, and I cannot ask for more help from family, they paid over 3,000$ in legal fees. And the only reason they did that was because they knew I was set up. The rest of my debt they see as my fault and my responsibility. Which they are right, it is my responsibility. But I can't help resenting their stance when my friend's grandmother gave him 10,000$ to pay off 6,000$ in debts. The rest? "Keep it," she said. Must be nice....
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