I was feeling somewhat better (which is absolutely relative for me), but lately I've felt depression gaining a foothold again. And it's getting worse by the hour. Yes, there have been some triggers. Yes, this may be a med issue. Doesn't matter, because I've already reached the point where I don't want to feel better anymore. I don't want a fucking pep talk, or 10 reasons not to "Do It," or more, different, better meds... I just want to die. And I don't know why I'm writing this, because it's irrelevant. I probably won't act on any impulses; I know better. I have a shit-ton of responsibilities that I can't let down, and that I resent more and more each day for keeping me here. But even if I did put into action any one of the growing number of plans I'm currently fixated on, there is not a thing anyone could ever say to stop me. I guess I'm writing this because I really need to say it "out loud," and there is no one else I can tell.