Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by dlrsdelrio, Oct 23, 2013.

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  1. dlrsdelrio

    dlrsdelrio New Member


    The past couple of weeks have been extremely tough. I felt happy for a couple of days which kind of alienated me as it made me realize how much I am either flat-lining or depressed most of the time.
    I have been feeling worse every single day since. I haven't shown up at work. I tried to see my GP, unfortunately she is on holidays for a couple of weeks. Don't have a therapist. i tried to see someone else at my surgery but to no avail. I have been in a state of flight since.
    Last time I went to A&E when feeling suicidal I was referred back to my GP after seeing a psychologist ( there seem to be a catch 22 that because I had done the right thing by going I could not be referred to the Crisis team).
    I tried to chat with a friend tonight but he was not available.
    Today I tried to take things further.
    A few years ago I was diagnosed with BDP, and it took me a long time to get my life in order again ( I cut off all ties with my family for 18 months, still haven't dared getting in touch with some of my friends since). I was utterly out of control for a few months.
    And I don't want to get back there.
    I just feel very low, and silly for what I did today. I have been staring at the crisis number for 2 days now, and still haven't dared to call them as I feel ashamed of what I tried to do, I also feel very stupid for not noticing the severe mood slip before I was in crisis. I am also worried of the consequences.
    I just feel that all the progress I had made over the past few years have been wasted, if I always end back in square one.
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    No hun not wasted because although you end up back to where you think you started it is not the same place and you do not stay there as long ok Quit staring at the crisis n umber ok you call just call them and talk to them before you harm yourself stupid how when you go in for help they don't help you that makes me so dam angry if you call crisis line they can send some support to you ok or they can talk to you until your mind is more at ease NO need to be ashamed hun ok they understand
  3. dlrsdelrio

    dlrsdelrio New Member

    Bit the bullet and called, got the answering machine but left a calm and collected message. Now waiting for a return call.
  4. morning rush

    morning rush Well-Known Member

    good that you called, I hope you can get emergency help...normally when a GP is on vacation, there's someone to replace them in case of emergencies like you are having now...maybe you need a raise of meds?

    It took me years to get my life in order as well, it's not perfect but it's better....so please let us know what happens
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