i am a suicide failure. every time i have tried to commit suicide in the past i have come back. i've wrecked motorcycles, overdosed. <mod edit: bunny - methods> i fractured my skull, broke my leg. the paramedics gave me two transfusions and brought me back to life after being dead for 2 1/2 minutes. i was above the ambulance and saw what was happening. oh well. the doctors didn't know if i would make it through the night. i came out of it and was pissed. i eventually got put on psych meds and they helped for a while. i quit taking them and the shit comes back into my head. the first time i tried to kill myself i was five years old. i have the scar on my wrist to show for it. i abused drugs for years, and now i am clean and sober, without psych meds. maybe i need to be put back on them. they do help, but i hate having to take pills every day. it sucks. i'm tired of it. i'm tired of life. my best friend died in 1998. she was my only escape. she 's the only person that i was able to talk to about my problems. i am an emotional basketcase.