Square One

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by LonelyKid, Mar 4, 2008.

  1. LonelyKid

    LonelyKid Well-Known Member

    I'm feeling so ridiculously frustrated and angry and confused and everything, I can't handle this right now. Today I couldn't help but have to take a look back on the things I have done. I left school to try to kill myself, that didn't work out. Months later of being lost, we're having to leave another place due to money issues. I grudgingly pack all the mementos of the life I couldn't handle and I miss it. That day I left feeling so overwhelmed and that day I was gonna finally take it always seemed so short away from the present but its not, it was a long time ago.

    I finally start to feel a little happy that it didn't work out and I realize what a huge mistake I've made with my life... I miss my friends, I miss having somewhere to belong, I miss certain aspects of everything from school. I was a half a semester from graduating! This ruins my life entirely! The life I finally thought I could start living. What am I supposed to do! Earlier thinking this I burst into an anxiety attack and to calm myself down I actually reached for a razor and cut. I feel like I'm back at the start of this school year, with a huge weight on myself and having to move and feeling completely clueless!

    I don't want to take the same road back to that day... I'm a few feet from breaking down again and I can't catch my breath. M gut is aching and my head is hurting. I was actually doing well in school... I might've had something ahead of me and that's the only path I had thought about and had any clue about following. What am I doing? Where am I going? What am I supposed to do?