sry to all......countdown

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by givenuponlife, Sep 29, 2006.

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  1. givenuponlife

    givenuponlife Well-Known Member

    Just wanted to say sry to all that i have bugged or brought down with all of my fucking problems as it shows no one really cares on how i feel either on this site or another one i go to. So no one will miss me when i am gone, so just so you guys will know the countdown is on. Even the medical profession doesnt want to help me and i cant go back into the hospital (that will just make my situation worse)

    so the only other thing i can say is F**K this world maybe the afterlife will be better then this life, i dont think anything else can be as bad as what i have gone thru since 8yrs old.

  2. Candy

    Candy Member

    i'm sorry your going thru this. i know how you feel and i feel the same. this cant go on much longer everyday i want to end it. but i havent so some part of me must not want to. i dont know what to say but try to hang on to somthing
    people here seem to be going thru the same thing so at least lets stick together ok
  3. I saw a documentary on near-death experiences which had an interview with someone attempting suicide, but she came back to life and explained that if you actually kill yourself you'll have to re-live all the painful things that braught you to that same position all over again. so its not worth it.
  4. Marshmallow

    Marshmallow Staff Alumni

    hun im sorry you feel like no one cares about you, but believe or not i do and so do others. You don't bring people down with problems, if we all didn't have problems we wouldn't be here, we're here to help as long as you want us to, we're a support system without people here we it doesn't work, and im truely sorry that you feel that no one cares about you here, but i do and im sure as hell other people do.
  5. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    I care what happens to you too givenuponlife. Please keep posting and talking to us. You have made it this far, keep trying. I know how difficult the situations are. I also know things are not as you would wish them to be. Please don't give up. Let us be there for you and help where we can. Take care. :hug:
  6. max911

    max911 Well-Known Member

    I held someone I loved in my arms as they died, they killed themself in front of me taking their life and my unborn childs. And that isn't even the worst of it. So yeah, maybe I can sympathise, maybe I gone through relative life experiences.

    You seem pretty sure that this is it, that this is the end, well then, until that time, we can discuss things, and maybe I can help you find a center, talking doesn't hurt now will it?

    Yeah, we can talk.
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 30, 2006
  7. gitana

    gitana SF Friend & Antiquitie's Friend Staff Alumni

    Pls givenuponlife.. don't do anything right now.. I completely understand and sometimes it seems that ppl may not care about you. I have been away for awhile.. and I know that many ppl here really care.

    Don't worry bout bringing anyone else down.. That is why we are here.. To help you get through what you are dealing with. To be your friend, talk you trhough the horrible space you are in... I understand about the medical profession.. makes me extremely mad.. very.. I also understand about the hosptial situation and yes, that could make things worse.. have been there.. I don't want you to hurt yourself.. I know you are in deep deep pain to the inner core of your being..I can relate alot.. I am sorry that I missed your earlier posts.. and I know right now you are struggling with if anybody cares about you or not.. I do too.

    I have attempted many times. My pdoic (psychiatrist) can't believe that I am still here.. seriously.. I know you want peace and you want to give up.. and feel hopeless.. I understand and many ppl here do also.. When I was 9, I
    remember some things.. and some time ago, a memory, when I was 5, came to mind, feeling suicidal or self-destructive as I grew up.. I forgot that time.. please don't give up.. lean on us.. okay? feel free to PM anytiime if you need someone to talk to.. I feel your pain extremely... I have lost many ppl thru death, 9 were suicidies.. very close to me.. since I was 5.. death just seemed natuatl to me.. that is why we are here for you.. we have been there.. please hang on and our support.. I knoe that anytime you can make that decision .. just not now.. okay?? pls give us a chance..

    We will support you and help you get through this time, oKay? My heart goes out deeply to you and I am sorry you are in deep pain.. There are ppl who really do care about you and lean on us.. Don''t shut us out okay? I hope you keep talking to us and sharing what is on your heart and the deep pain you feel.. I hope you will be able to trust us or learn to ttust us and continue talking to us.. I care about you.. Why? you may ask?? Because I have been there and alot of ppl here have also..


  8. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    it is not humble to compare 'war stories', but i am sure there are many ppl here who can relate to having been dealt an awful others have said, I care too...the purpose of we being here at SF is to hold each other until the sting is lessened, and we can see some light...for some it takes longer than others (i first attempted at age six thinking if i punctured through my navel, i could rid the world of my awful being; at seven, i tried something else...and so it went for more than 25 times)...for the first time since age 3, i can honestly say, i am starting to feel OK having failed at this...please PM me if i can be there for you...big hugs and caring thoughts, Jackie
  9. givenuponlife

    givenuponlife Well-Known Member

    Just to let you all know i am still here.....why..........i dont know. This today has been the most depressing day of my life. I kind of wish i wasnt here at all, today was supposed to be a special day and it started out like crap and been getting worse as time goes by today. I dont know how much longer i can hold on but as you guys can tell i am trying.
  10. Milkdrops

    Milkdrops Well-Known Member

  11. ~CazzaAngel~

    ~CazzaAngel~ Staff Alumni

    You know that's weird I think I saw that and I know I have seen things on the internet about near death stuff.....anyway.

    But hun...I am sorry you are feeling this way. You most likely need to get into theapy, but you have to think possitively; You will not find peace in death until you are suppose to die, what you will find more peace in while you're alive would be recovery, everyone is NOT exactly te same so it takes different combonation of help to recover, some find it faster but it's still there, life is worth living, you could be happy and it's work but think how great tou'd feel to make it be in recovery and feel joy, love,'d feel amazing.

    And we are here for you, please reconcider.



  12. ace

    ace Well-Known Member

    non_ex sorry but I don't understand if someone has killed themselve's that's pretty much it,I can't understand how someone can kill themselve's and come back to life and re-live everything it's unheard of to me.Givuponlife I understand the pain you're in I really do and I know you're trying like everyone else does here,otherwise you'd be gone by now so that show's how much of a fight you're putting in.
  13. givenuponlife

    givenuponlife Well-Known Member

    I Have Tried Councelling And The Last Time I Did That I Was Told That Everything That I Was Saying About My Ex And My So Called Friends At That Time Was My Fault So As U Can Tell I Dont Really Like Going To Therapists Casue I Dont Want To Be Told That My Mental Illness Is My Fault And That The Ex Isnt To Blame For How I Am Feeling And All That Shit....but You Want To Know Something He Is The Main Reason For One In The Medical Profession Wants To Help Me So I Am On My Fuckin Own..........just Like My Life I Have No One
  14. ~CazzaAngel~

    ~CazzaAngel~ Staff Alumni

    Hun, I agree that yes some therapists are complete asses, but if you can get a good one it could help.....please consider scoping some....:hug:

    I'm here if you need me.


  15. givenuponlife

    givenuponlife Well-Known Member

    thanks, but i have tried almost every mental health professional in this city i live in and no one thinks i am bad enough to require long term treatment most of them just want to keep me on for a few sessions and then let me go.... The psyc doc i have wont see me unless i am a fuckin in patient which means i would have to go back into the fuckin hospital which i cant do with the situation i am in, doing that will just make everything worse.

    I hate my life ......i hate it ....... i hate it..........i hate it

    why did my life have to turn out this way.
  16. ~CazzaAngel~

    ~CazzaAngel~ Staff Alumni

    Did you tell them everything...? because a lot of people seek help but then don't tell them enough to go on and they are thinking thay what they said was all they had problems with.....(no saying you did tht, just trying to understand)

  17. givenuponlife

    givenuponlife Well-Known Member

    i have told my councellors adn docs that i have attempted to take my life, i have also told them i am a SI/SH and to what extent i do it too. i told them bout my childhood and shit i went thru yeah i told them everything i could think of when i was in the sessions, i am just now talking bout what else has happened thru my marriage but have no professional to tell it too.

    I only have the ppl online here to talk to other then that i am by myself
  18. ~CazzaAngel~

    ~CazzaAngel~ Staff Alumni

    Where are you from?
  19. givenuponlife

    givenuponlife Well-Known Member

  20. ~CazzaAngel~

    ~CazzaAngel~ Staff Alumni

    Oh, I was thinking USA.....I don't know much about where good centers are in Canada...

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