Well, here is my first post of the New Year. I made it a whole month into it without posting anything. Not much has changed since the last time I did write anything here. Still in the same dead-end temp job, living in the same home with my parents, and dealing with all the same crap. SSDD in my case is now SSED (every day). It feels like my life has hit a wall. I’ve been out of school for almost three years now and nothing has progressed the way I was told it would. All the hard work didn’t pan out. I gave up on a social life in college or high school so I could get good grades and then get the good job. I was told people appreciate that, but I was lied to. At least that has been my experience. Every day of the week feels like the last one, every weekend is the same. I go over to the same friend’s home and watch a movie with him and his fiancé. When she gets tired she goes to bed, and then I play a video game with my friend until I get too tired and leave. I hate to admit it, but I’m sick of doing that every weekend. I don’t have the strength though to go out to different places though, so I’m screwed. Then there is this month to deal with. All the happy go lucky love birds are driving me off a cliff. I’ve had problems with this month for over three years now after my ex left me. Her birthday is Sunday and then a week later Valentine’s Day. So all those lovely break-up memories are being churned up nicely by the date and then facebook suggests her as a friend. And the best part is that now I can see she got married. That just brings me back to the worthless feeling of how my life is in limbo while everyone else around me is progressing. And also, it has been a little over three years since she left me, so why am I still feeling like this any time I hear information about her? I thought I was done with this garbage. So, since my life is not moving at all, maybe I should just skip ahead to the last page of the book and blow my head off. At least then I’ll be ahead of everyone for once. I’m going to be 25 in a few months and I have nothing to show for it except a rusting car in the backyard I parked when I started driving my mother’s old car and a bank account with enough cash to pay off my student loans (living with my parents made it easy for me to save up the cash, and going to a state school helped with the costs). This is probably a very odd post for anyone still reading right not, it must jump around from point-to-point. Time for me to go now. Have to get ready for bed so I can go to work tomorrow. With any luck I’ll get hit by something and killed. At least that way it will be an accident and the life insurance won’t be void.