Stabbed in back

Discussion in 'I Need Some Empathy and Compassion (New Forum)' started by freak, Oct 9, 2016.

  1. freak

    freak New Member

    Just as I thought I was picking up all the broken pieces. I thought I could quit SH but that feels like it's gonna fail. I had a fucking breakdown several days ago, and my one friend who apparently is actually my fucking friend got me help when I felt like I was going to lose it. I went to psychological services on campus the next day and talked this crap out. Felt like there might be hope. What a fucking lie. After that night, my friend who actually gave a crap stopped talking to everybody. My other "friends" were acting all like: oh we don't know why she's acting like this! So I confronted her, asked her what's up, and all she'd say is that one of them said something that made her question wether she really wants to be a part of this friend group. I just now was helping one of these supposed fucking "friends" move some stuff and asked her who said what. Well, the night when I was having my fucking breakdown, when my actual only friend was there for me, we were all in my other "friends" room. Apparently, my other "friend" was annoyed that she couldn't come into her room because I had decided to have a fucking breakdown. So she looked at this other pussy of a "friend" and out of annoyance said in front of everyone: well aren't you glad u decided not to room with him? After she told me she said that, she immediately said that she said sorry a hundred times, but I think this shows a lot more of her character. I politely told her: fuck you. Now, it feels like I only have one real friend, and feel miserable again. It's great to see how I'm fucking treated. Fuck everybody. I'm sick of it all and I really just want to cut myself again (although I threw my knife away). Oh and on top of this latest fucking bombshell, I still have two fucking essays to write along with other work, and I've lost all motivation to do it all. So all I have to say is this: fuck me, fuck everybody and fuck the world. This just shows u that u can't fucking rely on anybody.
    DrownedFishOnFire likes this.
  2. Freya

    Freya Loves SF Staff Member ADMIN

    I am sorry this happened to you. I don't blame you for being angry and feeling like you were stabbed in the back. I really hope that you start to feel better soon *hugs*
    DrownedFishOnFire and Rewound like this.
  3. DrownedFishOnFire

    DrownedFishOnFire Quieta non movere

    This is one of the reasons why I don't let people close to me. It hurts when someone you thought was genuine does this type of stuff however it sounds like you're in college or school? Just saying each semester in my experience it changed all of us, some of my old friends came and went as seasons changed and semesters foward over a decade I keep in touch with now and then on FB but I don't even care if they dropped off or deleted their FB account as I wouldn't even notice.

    Its hard especially with us who have mental breakdowns to deal/cope with this extra stress of dramas. Focus on getting your essays done and time kinda will fly and new friends comes along