I have (short of impending miracle) been denied school in spring. I missed the required score on my admission test by 2 points.. Technically it could be rounded to 1. I had so much hope, i could see out of state friends without paying to fly. I could meet new people to talk to. I could have a real goal to follow in life, and eventually find something i may tolerate doing for money. Plus it would be something to give my daily life distraction. On the other end, i have virtually no will to work right now. I can't bring my self to care about spending 6-8 hours a day, just standing around for pennies. I can't do fast-food. My severe ocd fears prevent that. I can't handle high stress either, but i get bored easily. I can't think of anything out in the country, except grocery stores, or fast-food. I need a job really bad, but i need help finding it. Autism-spectrum i guess. On the lighter side of life, i am having problems with my u-tract. I can't really get anyone to care enough to help me see a doc. It's also getting me out of bed for 10 minutes at a time, every 30 minutes or so. At least once an hour. So for the last 2-3 weeks, i really haven't had a single full night sleep. Hence leading to chronic sleep deprivation/ no sleep schedule. In short, i'm completely alone. No real resources to find people, except if my school decides to take pity on me. Can't work, as there's little opportunity, and i have no drive. I guess i just needed to feel like someone took my life seriously, or acknowledged it.