Standing up for myself

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by sadhart, Oct 20, 2011.

  1. sadhart

    sadhart Well-Known Member

    I never know if I'm posting in the right section, but as I don't feel this is entirely about my feelings of suicide I guess this is an okay place to talk about this. The last two years have been hard for me, but it wasn't really until this past summer that I have become tired and fed up with putting up with other people's crap, especially from my own family.

    I try to recognize when I am wrong and aside from beating myself up about my struggles or faults, I can accept when other people want to punish me or speak to me on my wrongs...within reason. I don't appreciate when people come off totally one sided or hypocritical when talking to me. For example, my mother acts this way: if she wants to address something to me about me, that is fine. But it gets to me how she takes some things and exxagerates the hell out of them. Like she'll talk about my choice to drink alcohol...she has never seen me drink, and I have never been "drunk" around her, but she always talks like she has this firsthand eyewitness account of my drinking habits. Hell I can have a can of beer and she will flip out a if I had 24 at once and was driving drunk. And it's not just alcohol, she does this type of over the top crap in other aspects of my life....I can't even have an opinion at times without her acting neurotic.

    What really gets to me is how she is so hypocritical when it comes to her faults. She is passive aggressive, deflects, never practices what she preaches and very childish to name a few. And she makes such piss poor excuses for these actions.

    I haven't spoken to her in months, but I may have to deal with her in the coming holidays and I am unsure how. The one thing that makes talking to her so hard is that she wants to be in control if the conversation. If she has done something that was wrong and it upset me, and I confront her, she plays the victim as if I am upset at her for no reason. If I am assertive, but fair, and try to be reasonable, she acts like she doesn't care and shrugs things off.

    It's a control thing for her and yet, it is emotionally draining and wrong for her to do.

    Sorry if I didn't explain my problem better.
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 20, 2011
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    You explained very well hun and although your mother thinks she is doing the best for you it is harming you I do hope in time you can talk to her about how she makes you feel Just remember in time you can and will leave that environment and make a new place for yourself hun hugs
  3. sadhart

    sadhart Well-Known Member

    Yeah well, thank you...but it's not that simple, and it's not only her.