Standing up for yourself and regretting it

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by Jay19, Sep 27, 2014.

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  1. Jay19

    Jay19 Well-Known Member

    I'm not one to usually stand up and tell someone off or speak when I feel people or me are being treated unfairly but lately I have tried to change that.
    Today for example I spoke to my deputy and manager about how certain tasks were not being done and that it seems I am always expected to do them when other people (inc. them two) should help out.
    I feel I am in the right about this, supported by various collegues but I always feel that I need to apologise afterwards as they will look down on me and think i'm wrong and acting irrationally.

    I'm always trying to please people so when I know I have annoyed someone I regret it because I dont want people to think any negativity towards me i.e stupidity, laziness etc.

    Is it just me or do others feel the same emotions if they stand up for themselves and wish they could take it back so that person doesnt hate them anymore?
  2. justMe7

    justMe7 Well-Known Member

    I can sorta get this, especially when you are working in a group. Co-workers, friends, family, volunteers, however you want to put it, you're a small group and you work together. In a flawless situation, we all do our agreed upon parts, and help out if there's some slack. Because in theory we should care about the work, and especially about the people working there.

    So I can understand when you have to re-affirm the responsibilities of others too them. For me personally, I don't enjoy telling people what to do, I think that's something they should want to do. So like you, I can feel like crap when I have to take that position of authority and snap someone back in place. I think for me, I feel bad or hesitiant because im effectively saying to someone "You're not taking care of the responsibilities you yourself agreed to" in a fashion.
    But yeah, how you approach the situation helps alot with how they take it and how you feel afterwards. In the end though there is a situation in a work environment that's not being met properly. So that has to be dealt with, and you are right for doing so. Best thing to do is nip it in the ass the first or second time it happens, that way there's not so much of a snap reaction since the "deviation" is quite new.

    Sometimes though, you have to be stern. That's part of keeping things moving properly, and if they don't understand, they'll either have to get over it, or the position is not best suited for them. It's a responsibility in the end when you work in a team, so don't feel too bad that you did the right thing. Fairness ranges from the lowest paid worked to the highest, basically you're maintaining a respectable business/team. They should be doing the same by looking after their responsibilities.
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 28, 2014
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