I suppose a part of me wants to live, because I'm posting this. because I'm still alive to post this. hopefully this state of events will not continue. I'm sat here in my room, edit total eclipse triggering> down my shoulders, upper arms and chest. I have the <edit total eclipse method> from the kitchen here, I've been using it to<Edit total eclipse method triggering>. I'm not sure yet, but I'll work it out. I want to die tonight. I want to <edit total eclipse triggering> so that in the mourning when someone comes to the door to ask if I can come out so they can take the piss a bit more, my parents will come in, just going to wake me up. and they will never forget. no-one will forget and they will learn to listen when someone tells them that they hate themselves, that they're scared, that they want to die. maybe they'll think on that for a while, hopefully one day they'll see me in someone else and try a bit harder. either way, not long now.