Started smoking "for real"

Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by souncide, May 4, 2014.

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  1. souncide

    souncide Well-Known Member

    I used to smoke one cigarette now and then - at parties or something like this, someone would always have a pack, and I always would want to try at least one. Smoking pleased me more than drinking - something I gave up on doing not so long ago.
    Last week, I bought a pack of Lucky Strike. Been smoking, like, one cigarrete per day since then. I know it isn't good for me, but I can't help - I do like smoking. The feeling of the smoke going through my body, the effects of the nicotine, even the eventual coughs from my lack of experience, the whole experience pleases me a lot.
    I don't know how far I'll go smoking - probably for the rest of my life, but I may stop someday. 'Till then, I'll keep enjoying these little devils.
  2. Twocky61

    Twocky61 Banned Member

    I love them too Souncide - I used to smole in pubs/bar until this retarded uk Government banned smoking in public places which killed the licensed trade & when I smoked there I paid over the odds in vending machines: Pack of 16 (yes a vending pack contained 16 cigarettes back then) which were more expensive than a pack of 20 in a shop

    Now I smoke 20 q day just to cope especially with Claire who is really pushing me over the edge - friends have told me to "Dump the Bitch" but if only it was that easy

    I love her intensely & would die for her & she knows this and plays on it - I don't believe she really loves me but I can handle that - she says she cares about me so I will have to be satisfied with that

    So the 20 a day keeps me stable; without tham I panic & self harm & want to die

    Anyway that's gone off topic so I will leave it there
  3. AsphyxiateOnMisery

    AsphyxiateOnMisery Well-Known Member

    Lol, nice. Lucky Strikes I hear are pretty brutal. Very strong cigarettes. Well, a lot of people smoke...including me, so I can't tell you not to do it, but just a warning, you'll end up spending a shitton of money on cigarettes. It really puts a damper on the pockets if you smoke a pack a day or more. Also, just the way you described how you feel when you smoke kind of makes me think that cigarettes isn't the only thing you might want to try in the future. So just be careful about the path you're headed on is all I can say.
  4. Perfect Melancholy

    Perfect Melancholy SF Friend

    Smoking is bad believe me I smoke loads height of my depression was on 30 a day just sat there smoking, thing is as well it is expensive I still smoke my quitting failed and now I have asthma because of the smoking so basically I am 30 resigned to lung infections etc.

    So really really think about not smoking please from someone who does, and regrets the day they started who has to use an inhaler before doing any sort of sport.
  5. BernardFoster

    BernardFoster Active Member

    I love smoking it gives me this feeling of being relax even though im sad.. i feel very relax and i feel like my head is gonna fall anytime soon and its ok with me.. I consider smoking a form of slow suicide.. cause it takes 3 minutes of your life every stick.
  6. AsphyxiateOnMisery

    AsphyxiateOnMisery Well-Known Member

    Lol, that's true I guess. Never thought of it that way.
  7. Lucky Strikes! :p

    I smoke Luckies too. Though I hardly ever smoke when I'm not with friends. But when I'm with friends I (for whatever reason) just want to smoke cig after cig. Even if they already stopped I would still light up another one. Last time I literally smoked away like.. 40 cigs in maybe.. 12 hours?.. KInda worried me but I guess my smoking habbit seems okay again.

    3 Minute sof your life? Yeah maybe because it takes about 3 minutes to smoke one. :'D But other than that it's bs. It does indeed quicken your death but that 3 minutes thing is a rumor, nothing more.
  8. VagabondVinny

    VagabondVinny Member

    I've been wanting to smoke for a while now.. (My friend does it and they've been offering to give me one)
    But, I have to be afraid to start, of course. So what's it like?
    My friend said that it was stress relieving (And I've been needing a stress reliever because self-harming and crying doesn't work anymore)
  9. meaningless-vessel

    meaningless-vessel Well-Known Member

    Using smoking as a stress reliever or because it makes you feel better is a dangerous trap to get into. From someone who was anti-smoking for 17 years, and has now been smoking 12 years, I can safely say it's the worst decision I made. The reason I say it's a dangerous trap? It's a legal drug that can impact anger levels (getting used to many and having none for a while people get irritable), it can drastically affect physical health, (I can't run for more than a moment without getting out of breath), and it really makes clothes you wear while doing it stink after a while. You won't notice it but others around you will.

    Is it truly worth it? If I was blatantly honest, it's not. And if you've never started - I'd advise against doing so. It's a costly practice to maintain week in week out, and I'm sure many of us would do something better with the money we spend on the stuff (I average £100 every 4 weeks now, if not more), but am sure that could be put to better use.
  10. AsphyxiateOnMisery

    AsphyxiateOnMisery Well-Known Member

    Tell me about it. I HATE hills. Every time I have to walk up a hill, I get so out of breath, I feel like I'm 80 years old. And trying to smoke a cigarette WHILE walking up a hill? Forget about it. One of these days, I'm just going to flop over dead while attempting to do that. Sad, but true.
  11. souncide

    souncide Well-Known Member

    Well, you were right. Months after I made this post, I tried some other things. I also had to change my brand of cigarettes and tone down my smoking a bit because, well, money.
    My thoughts exactly.
  12. AsphyxiateOnMisery

    AsphyxiateOnMisery Well-Known Member

    What exactly have you tried? It's sad for me to see these things happening to other people...I ended up going down the path of addiction as well, thinking nothing bad will come out of it, and I am still trying backtrack my way out of this hell-hole, after 5+ years. I really hope that whatever you've tried, you can still get yourself out before it's too late.
  13. souncide

    souncide Well-Known Member

    I smoke marijuana at the university, and for the first time in ages I felt relaxed, so it'll probably turn into another addiction if I have the money for it.
    A while after that I took acid, but - I swear to you - nothing happened. I didn't had a trip, I didn't felt anything. Woke up with a huge hangover the next day, but that was it. It was, indeed, the real thing - I wasn't the only one, and everyone else had the time of their lives. Disappointing.
  14. AsphyxiateOnMisery

    AsphyxiateOnMisery Well-Known Member

    That's where you're mistaken. If it turns into an addiction, then it will do so regardless of whether you have the money for it or not. And by that I mean, if you don't have the money, you'll find some way to get the money, regardless of what it takes. I didn't have the money to keep up with my heroin habit, so I stole, lied, and risked going to prison countless times. Even went as far as stealing checks and forging signatures just to be able to get my fix for the day, knowing damn well that if anything went wrong and they suspected it was fake, I'd be arrested right on the spot and charged with a felony. I got lucky and managed to avoid that, but the risk I was taking was huge and I didn't care. Granted, marijuana, in particular, usually doesn't make people go that far, but it depends on the person. If you feel like you need it that bad, then it will. And if not, it's also very possible that you'll move on to other things, which you apparently already have. It doesn't matter that you didn't feel anything. That doesn't mean you'll never try again. And when you do try again, and you do feel something, and you keep doing it, you will have screwed yourself and your life up beyond belief. My advice is, obviously, consider yourself lucky that you didn't feel anything and don't make a second attempt to do so. You say other people did it too, and I get that you're in college and everything and you want to try new things and fit in, but that's not the kind of people you want to fit in with. First of all, if anything ever happens to you, guaranteed that not a single one of those people would lift a finger to help you. They're not your friends, they could care less about you unless you're getting high with them or helping them get high. That's how addicts are and no one is exempt from that. Second, psychedelic drugs like acid could put you into a trip that you never get out of. And I mean that literally. One of my husband's friends did it, and it screwed him up so much that his trip never ended and he ended up in the psych ward permanently. You have no idea how much I regret trying heroin. I thought I could be strong enough to only do it once or twice and then never again, but I wasn't. Now, my life is a complete wreck, and it could have been a lot worse had I kept going down that road and not caring.
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