• Apologies for the issue with a bizarre redirect on the site earlier today. There was a large server update and an error in an IP address had the traffic routing wrongly. No hacking or anything nefarious and nothing to worry about. Sorry for any stress/anxiety caused. Very best wishes - SF Admin

Starting again but there is no hope

#1
Having to start again at near 40. I am not wealthy or good looking. In fact I make enough to get by with a little left over and I am fucking ugly. No one is going to want me. I'm coming up to an age now where it's now or never as far as having a family goes, but I am so ugly nobody will give me the time of day. There is no way in hell someone even my own age will go for me, never mind someone young enough to have enough time to form a relationship, become engaged, marry and have children. That all takes time that someone my age wouldn't have. I guess I have to get used to the fact that an ugly son of a bitch like me has DNA that nobody in their right mind will want. I will die and nobody will grieve. I won't have a funeral because nobody cares enough to attend. I might as well kill myself than live another four decades of loneliness and hopelessness.
 

johnDoen

Outsider in the Realm of Lost and Found
#2
Having to start again at near 40. I am not wealthy or good looking. In fact I make enough to get by with a little left over and I am fucking ugly. No one is going to want me. I'm coming up to an age now where it's now or never as far as having a family goes, but I am so ugly nobody will give me the time of day. There is no way in hell someone even my own age will go for me, never mind someone young enough to have enough time to form a relationship, become engaged, marry and have children. That all takes time that someone my age wouldn't have. I guess I have to get used to the fact that an ugly son of a bitch like me has DNA that nobody in their right mind will want. I will die and nobody will grieve. I won't have a funeral because nobody cares enough to attend. I might as well kill myself than live another four decades of loneliness and hopelessness.
Someone will grieve for your death, from a slight sob to a lamentation. I mean the guys you often hang out with, even online.

If romantic relationships sound impossible, you can still adopt pets or volunteer (for a local event or as a listener for mental health organizations). For now, you can learn how to be happy with yourself, which is quite hard to be honest, maybe slightly easier with therapy, counseling and help from friends.
 

Maagy43

Active Member
#3
Having to start again at near 40. I am not wealthy or good looking. In fact I make enough to get by with a little left over and I am fucking ugly. No one is going to want me. I'm coming up to an age now where it's now or never as far as having a family goes, but I am so ugly nobody will give me the time of day. There is no way in hell someone even my own age will go for me, never mind someone young enough to have enough time to form a relationship, become engaged, marry and have children. That all takes time that someone my age wouldn't have. I guess I have to get used to the fact that an ugly son of a bitch like me has DNA that nobody in their right mind will want. I will die and nobody will grieve. I won't have a funeral because nobody cares enough to attend. I might as well kill myself than live another four decades of loneliness and hopelessness.
Starting over is hard. It is also a second chance.

Depression makes us see everything in a negative light. I wish I knew how to fight it. I have all the feelings you do when I am going down that hole. Not all of them go away when I come out again, but I can handle them better.

Please don’t think you are ugly. I tell my girls that just because they don’t look like what “the world” thinks is beautiful, does not mean they are not!

If you look around, there are so many people that don’t fit the worlds opinion on beauty, but they are married and have love. Some of the most beautiful are with someone people call ugly.

I have never fell for anyone for their looks. It was the personality and how they made me feel. My friends/family could never see why I was attracted to them. When you love someone, you see them as beautiful.

Hoping you feel better today.
 
#4
Don't give up hope!! I am about your age and currently single, and I haven't given up hope yet!
Try to enjoy being single and the freedoms that it brings. Work on making yourself the best person you can be. And just keep looking for that special someone. You have plenty of time, and looks really don't matter when you find true love. Someone will see what an awesome person you are, and they'll love you for you!!
 

Przym

Well-Known Member
#6
It's funny, I think the same thing, and I am almost 34.

I doubt you are as bad looking as you say you are.

We (people with depression and low self-esteem) tend to see ourselves in the worst light.

I think that out of all the people who seem like they have it together, there are that many more who don't, who are in the same position as us, starting over, and trying to get back on their feet "later in the game".

And who made these rules, anyway? Who said that we had to have a relationship, children, and picturesque life locked down by the age of 30?

It's unrealistic, actually, considering all the curve balls life can throw at you.

And believe me, I have seen some people who I truly wonder how they acquired a mate/spouse, so I bet there is someone out there for you.
 

Please Donate to Help Keep SF Running

Total amount
$0.00
Goal
$255.00
Top