starting anew

Discussion in 'Positive Feelings and Motivational Messages' started by austinhp78, Mar 1, 2008.

  1. austinhp78

    austinhp78 Well-Known Member

    well recently i have come to the conclusion that the girl who i believed i loved was not all that i had been making her out to be. she had no interest in me whatsoever and had gone from seemingly wanting to be friends to wanting nothing to do with me whatsoever.

    my "love" for her and my struggle to make progress with her was one of the main causes of my depression and issues. while my lack of friends and a social life plays a role in this as well, my issues with her was the main cause.

    i have come to the realization that this girl and i are far too similar. opposites attract and we are all but opposites. i think that the reason for my "love" for her was that i was so... impressed by our similarities that i got myself confused. we share all the same hobbies, have similar interests and similar personalities. we are virtually identical.

    after a good deal of thinking i have come to an agreement with myself that i am going to start anew. i am going to disallow her from influencing any of my decisions or any part of my life. it had gotten to the point where i would not wear certain clothes so that she would not "disapprove of them". before my extensive thinking, i was positive that i was going to be a wreck, unable to forget about her and that my feelings for her would remain. this clearly is not the case.

    i have a feeling that i had been spending so much time, effort, and energy on her that i have abandoned all other parts of my life - social life included. from now on, i am going to transfer all that energy i had previously spent on her to trying to improve my social life and life as a whole.

    tomorrow i am throwing away my razor and making an honest attempt to never harm myself again and to refurbish my life back to what it could be.

    after all this thinking i must say, it feels as if an enormous weight has been lifted off my shoulders :laugh:

    remember, there is light at the end of the tunnel. while you may go through some hard times, there will always be someone there for you, if not anywhere else then here. things CAN get better you just have to hold on. hell yes, it takes a lot of effort but the end result will be worth it.

    i'm here for you if you need me :arms:
  2. austinhp78

    austinhp78 Well-Known Member

    well, i did it :smile:

    dulled the edges and got rid of the razor. it felt kind of good i must say. when dulling the edges it felt kind of like i was saying "no more" to the razor.

    it feels kind as if i have been released from my shackles :biggrin:
  3. the_nihilist_reason

    the_nihilist_reason Antiquities Friend

    Hey, good for you. That sounds so wonderfully uplifting! :smile:
    I just had to say that.