Starting over and it depresses me

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by fatloser, Mar 13, 2013.

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  1. fatloser

    fatloser Banned Member

    I got in trouble with the law and now have a felony on my record. It is cannabis related, so in a few years it can be expunged, but in the meantime I am afraid my only options are shit jobs with low pay. I am going back to school in the summer, and thank god my financial aid wasn't affected. I am just at a crossroads of sorts, and wish I could hear stories from people in a similar situation as me that were able to better their lives. I know school is my best option, and by the time I am done with that, I will be off probation. What has me depressed is that im 32, not a young guy anymore, and was doing pretty good for myself before all of this. Now I am living at my moms house, which is a blessing but also depressing, because of my age. Thanks for listening.
     
  2. Prinnctopher's Belt

    Prinnctopher's Belt Antiquities Friend SF Supporter

    Well, the good news is that you're going back to school, financial aid not impacted, expecting to complete your probation, (instead of being in jail!), and fortunately a drug felony record that will eventually disappear, so you have something to look forward to. Yes, I can relate that it's depressing not having the independence that you want for a while, and feeling ashamed about your economic situation, but keep your bases covered and do whatever work you can for now until then and everything will sort themselves out. :hug:
     
  3. fatloser

    fatloser Banned Member

    I just went and met with a lawyer, and according to him I can file paperwork to be put on bench probation in January 2014, and my record can be expunged another 2 years after that. I will still be in school finishing up my BS is computer and IT work, so by the time i'm done I should be eligible to have it expunged. I just gotta figure out how to pay for it.
     
  4. Mikeintx

    Mikeintx Well-Known Member

    That is great news, keep.pushing forward and things will fall into.place. Good luck, you got this.
     
  5. fatloser

    fatloser Banned Member

    Thanks, I definitely feel better then I did a few weeks ago. I am waiting to register for school until Summer term, so I can have more time to study for my math placement test, which is the last class I need to transfer to a 4 year school. I am also waiting for my comm college to get my transcript to see what classes are transferable. Without financial aid though, I wouldn't be able to go. I just gotta get through the next 3 months, hopefully find some sort of work then i'll get the ball rolling with school.
     
  6. skinnylove911

    skinnylove911 Well-Known Member

    Your criminal record will eventually will disappear shortly just give it a few years and it would of gone in the mean time keep distracted with your studying and things to keep yourself busy avoid falling into the trap of just laying about in the house and look into low paid jobs for temporary reasons think of them as way to pay off a mobile phone bill. Thats how i view getting a part time job something to put money in my bank account, keep me busy and pay off my £20 (30 dollars) a month phone bill
     
  7. fatloser

    fatloser Banned Member

    That has been the hardest part, trying to be active and not just moping around the house. I just had a lot happen in a very short amount of time(divorce from my ex wife, laid off from my job of almost 3 years and now this court case and felony charge, which I feel like I was made an example of and treated very unfairly because I couldn't afford a good lawyer) so I am just trying to put the pieces back together. I start drug classes tomorrow, which are court ordered, and i'm pretty annoyed about it, because weed isn't addictive and I have quit smoking it. I just wish I could fast forward this bullshit so its done with and I can move on.
     
  8. fatloser

    fatloser Banned Member

    today has been kind of a bad day so far, actually a bad week. I just have no motivation to do anything. I check out the want ads online and that just depresses me even more. Sometimes I just can't get over this feeling that my life is over and there's no hope for me. Which then makes me wish I was dead, so these problems don't matter anymore. But then I think about my family and it keeps me from doing anything, which I wouldn't anyway because I am afraid of dying. I just wish I could fast forward life and move on from my mistake, but this cold judgemental piece of shit world just won't allow people to move on from their mistakes.
     
  9. Prinnctopher's Belt

    Prinnctopher's Belt Antiquities Friend SF Supporter

    But you will. I know it's discouraging for now, but now is just temporary. Many people want to die to make the hurt and struggle go away; well yours eventually will if you just try to keep at it. Just take your time, be patient, jump through the hoops for now, it's all temporary. Hopefully everything will get better sooner than later.
     
  10. fatloser

    fatloser Banned Member

    You're right, and in the back of my mind I know this. Right now I am just focusing on finishing my drug classes, and getting my community service done, so I don't have to plan my work schedule around these things, or even mention them if I do have an interview, I can just say i'm on low supervision probation. I just wonder how people expect someone to move forward and learn from their mistakes if they just judge them based on something in their past. It makes me mad that there are still ignorant people out there, who just use others misery and pain to make themselves feel better.
     
  11. skinnylove911

    skinnylove911 Well-Known Member

    Just go very slowly if that helps tackle one little thing a time x
     
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