I don't think I want to die. I just don't want to continue to feel like this. I don't want to live feeling like this. On Saturday I inserted a needle in to my arm. All the way in. Tried to get a vein but think cos I had been drinking they decided to go play hide and seek. So now I have this needle in my arm. There is no open wound. It does hurt a little but it is getting more bearable. I am thinking as it is getting more bearable that it will be ok. I really don't want to go to A+E, especially after what it was like on Friday there. And where it is it's a bit hard to say it was an accident. The only way of saying that would be to say I slipped off something and in the process stabbed myself. But it wouldn't explain it really and any Doc worth their salt as soon as they saw an x-ray or what ever would know. At the time I was hoping it would move around in me and cause some damage but I know that wont work as it's not moved anywhere. I don't know what will happen. I don't know if they would remove it or if they would leave it there. It's near veins so can't see them just cutting there to get it out. I think they would just leave it but I am not sure. I am not going to go to my GP and not going to A+E as not really an emergency. I think I am going to give it a couple of weeks and see how it is then. Then maybe if still hurts go to the GP and they can book me in for x-ray and refer me somewhere. I am getting worried now. I am getting worse and worse and having more and more thoughts about suicide. I feel like I can't go on like this for much longer. I have still not heard from that group I was refered to. I thought maybe I would feel better once I finished my assignment as was stressing me out but I don't feel any different. I just don't know what to do really???!!!