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starting to get worse

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by JustSam, Sep 6, 2008.

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  1. JustSam

    JustSam Well-Known Member

    So this all started a couple of years ago...
    The thing is, my dad, he's a great guy. And he tries i know he really does.
    But he's been really on me about my weight. Saying how i need to lose so much weight.
    and its true i'm overweight. I'm not obese i dont think? but i could stand lose a couple pounds.
    But the way my dad puts it, i'm about to die from how big i am. That i need to quit eating so much, maybe skip a couple meals. Run more, get out and exercise.
    And it sucks because i wish he was just ok with me but every time he looks at me i can tell he's... almost disappointed to the point of disgusted.
    And its taken affect.
    I used to just skip maybe a meal or two a day. Run sometimes. But nothing too drastic.
    Now i go days without eating, never made a full week though, but to be honest i want to. I exercise myself to the point of exhaustion. And it makes me feel... almost proud of myself.
    and maybe he would be too?
    i know thats not the right way and even if he encourages it, that hes wrong.
    but he's still my dad.
    what do i do?
  2. Ozibuna

    Ozibuna Well-Known Member

    I pretty much agree with your dad here. He's just worried and wants a good ,healthy and fit son ( or daughter ). Because you already know that too much body fat is very very bad for you. Also i agree with you there, any type of exercise is a morale booster because at the end of the day even though you're so tired you can't even lift a finger you KNOW for a fact that it wasn't a loss that you're a better person then you were in the morning. So yeah, big thumbs up to you my friend and keep up the exercise. P.S.: i would just like to point out that when you'll be in great shape you will love yourself as well and that's a fact.
  3. aki

    aki Well-Known Member

    No, I totally disagree. I think what you're Dad is doing is wrong, always commenting on your weight and appearance. It's true that health is important but he should accept you for who you are and try and raise your confidence instead of making you feel bad about yourself. After all it's your body and your life, not his. It must feel horrible to think he's disappointed in you and that you're not good enough for him.
    I think you should tell him outright that you feel uncomfortable with his criticism and to stop commenting on your weight. I know he's your dad and that he might command a certain amount of authority, you might even fear him a bit, I don't know....but if you say quite firmly and assertively that you would prefer him not to say anything else about your appearance, I'm sure he'll get the message.
    Anyway I wish you good luck....just remember that no one has the right to make you feel this way.
  4. The_8th_Wonder

    The_8th_Wonder senior Member

    By saying this I think your dad both cares about your health and your social status. He isn't a stupid man and knows that you have a better chance at life if you a skinnier (it's true sadly enough). Skipping meals is not the best way to do it though because you run the risk of over eating later. If he says you should moderately pick up the physical activity than I strongly agree with it. Physical activity makes you feel better after every time you do it both physically and mentally. There is a huge difference between caring and not accepting and if he says nothing it seems to me like he doesn't care. I'm sure he accepts you for who you are he is just giving some wise advice that you should probably take and if you do you'll feel better, I promise.
  5. thedeafmusician

    thedeafmusician Staff Alumni

    Oh dear... a few alarm bells are ringing here. Tell me, what does your mother think of your dad? Ok if you need to lose weight, then you need to lose weight, but don't skip meals. It doesn't help at all, it just makes things worse. You need to eat 3 meals a day. Good decent meals. Don't just eat an apple and call it a 'meal'. If you don't you're going to feel VERY weak a lot of the time, especially if you are harming yourself too, because you lack iron in the blood, and you're missing all kinds of vitamins and minerals from not getting enough food. You'll probably find that you get cold easily too.

    And exercising to the point of exhaustion isn't going to help much either to be honest with you. The thing is with losing weight, you gain it back in muscle by exercising. Make sure you keep that in mind. If you are going to become healthier, don't listen to your dad, and throw out the scales. Don't look at them. Doing what you're doing now isn't going to help you. I've been there before and it sure as heck is no fun.

  6. JustSam

    JustSam Well-Known Member

    i know its good to get healthier.
    and i understand he cares for me
    but he calls me fat. and he encourages me to not eat at dinners or lunches.
    always asking if i'm sure i wanna eat any of this.
    its starting to feel horrible everytime i eat.
    my friends are kind of startin to ask questions...
    idk. maybe im over reacting
  7. thedeafmusician

    thedeafmusician Staff Alumni

    Don't listen to him. Seriously. If he has any sense in his head at all he will not stop you from eating. Tune him out. :hug:

  8. bonkers

    bonkers New Member

    Good diet and nutirition are essential to good mental and physical health, I've just been discussing this subject earlier today at a financial site. I'm diagnosed as Bi Polar. Various medications have been prescribed to me over several years. One thing I know I was lacking in is niacin, which can be found in fish, particuarly sardines, thats helpfull for if you are on a budget and aren't all that wealthy sardines are quite cheap, the other source is peanuts, my pyscharitrist herself used to eat them at interviews.-If your body is rundown and you do not get enough niacin you can suffer mental ill health, you should not have too much either, balance is everything.--BK.

  9. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

  10. HappyAZaClaM

    HappyAZaClaM Guest

    ooo, yikes. potential discord on der forum again. let's hope not :biggrin:

    her dad couldn't be MORE wrong if his life depended on it.
  11. HappyAZaClaM

    HappyAZaClaM Guest

    your dad is a control freak. and he is invalidating you big time by saying
    those things. and you are doing more damage to your health by starving
    than by changing your diet.

    excercising is fine. it's good. but you can't go a whole day without
    eating. it will have an opposite effect of what you are hoping for.

    what does your physician say about this?
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