there's a big difference, but it just depends on how you interpret the words. There's nothing wrong with being assertive, at least not on my understanding, we need more people who will stand up for themselves and be strong. However I do agree that people can cross the line, but I think people who genuinely care for others will not be stupidly aggressive.
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there's a big difference, but it just depends on how you interpret the words. There's nothing wrong with being assertive, at least not on my understanding, we need more people who will stand up for themselves and be strong. However I do agree that people can cross the line, but I think people who genuinely care for others will not be stupidly aggressive.
Yeah, it does come down to how you interpret it. But you still haven't differentiated assertive and aggressive.
If someone 'persuasively asserts' that it's their belief person A should perform/believe in X, when/why does it turn into aggression?
The reality is that both assertion and aggression are methods of dominance, and making others believe what you believe/do what you want them to do. The only possible way to differentiate the two is by the persons demeanour. And since we aren't static, and our mood is always changing a person may be seen as assertive one day and aggressive the next.
If someone 'persuasively asserts' that it's their belief person A should perform/believe in X, when/why does it turn into aggression?
The reality is that both assertion and aggression are methods of dominance, and making others believe what you believe/do what you want them to do. The only possible way to differentiate the two is by the persons demeanour. And since we aren't static, and our mood is always changing a person may be seen as assertive one day and aggressive the next.
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Yep. When a woman says they want their man to be confident and assertive, but not aggressive and a jerk they are comparing the same behaviour but just using different terms to describe some preconceived notion they have of what is 'good aggression' (assertiveness) and 'bad aggression' (being a jerk) which only they themselevs can judge.
The same goes for saying they want a person to be 'nice' but not a pushover. Again, it's the same behaviour using different terms depending on how the individual analyzes it. Men do exactly the same thing too.
The moral of the story? Just as Bleach said. You will never please everyone, so listening to stupid, simplified 'What men want' and 'What women want' is useless. All you can be is yourself. And you will still be judged differently by every single person you meet depending on their own personal criteria and past experiences.
The same goes for saying they want a person to be 'nice' but not a pushover. Again, it's the same behaviour using different terms depending on how the individual analyzes it. Men do exactly the same thing too.
The moral of the story? Just as Bleach said. You will never please everyone, so listening to stupid, simplified 'What men want' and 'What women want' is useless. All you can be is yourself. And you will still be judged differently by every single person you meet depending on their own personal criteria and past experiences.
I don't hate females; I don't hate males.
I think I hate everybody. But I love individuals. Does that make sense?
Women and men both can be shallow, petty, sluttish (men more than women here, imo, but I'm naive), and cruel.
Some women are just amazing individuals. It kills me to see them paired with cruel men. Vice versa too, though it doesn't 'kill' me as bad.
But, although we don't like to admit it, we all love a pretty face. Really, that's what it comes down to. Shy, cute guy, abashedly smiling at a distant memory, absorbed in his own thoughts VS Shy, greasy guy, grinning disturbingly at... you aren't sure what.
Almost any sort of personality can be attractive, if an attractive person is doing it.
I think I hate everybody. But I love individuals. Does that make sense?
Women and men both can be shallow, petty, sluttish (men more than women here, imo, but I'm naive), and cruel.
Some women are just amazing individuals. It kills me to see them paired with cruel men. Vice versa too, though it doesn't 'kill' me as bad.
But, although we don't like to admit it, we all love a pretty face. Really, that's what it comes down to. Shy, cute guy, abashedly smiling at a distant memory, absorbed in his own thoughts VS Shy, greasy guy, grinning disturbingly at... you aren't sure what.
Almost any sort of personality can be attractive, if an attractive person is doing it.
Wow, truly well said.
I honestly used to believe that men simply do not have genuine feelings, but just remember, we all used to be little kids, playing outside, running around carefree. Life happened to us. We tried to figure out how to survive, and some of the decisions we made not only hurt ourselves, but inadvertently hurt others, as well.
It's hard to think that there are people of the opposite sex that are still good, but the fact that we're all here, and stating that we have some mistrust of each other, shows that this happens in relationships, regardless of who is what sex. Maybe it's less about what gender they are, and more about control.......???
I honestly used to believe that men simply do not have genuine feelings, but just remember, we all used to be little kids, playing outside, running around carefree. Life happened to us. We tried to figure out how to survive, and some of the decisions we made not only hurt ourselves, but inadvertently hurt others, as well.
It's hard to think that there are people of the opposite sex that are still good, but the fact that we're all here, and stating that we have some mistrust of each other, shows that this happens in relationships, regardless of who is what sex. Maybe it's less about what gender they are, and more about control.......???
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