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Starting to lose hope - have 5-10 years left to turn things around or I'm done

RedTerminator13

Well-Known Member
#1
Hi there, I went back to college in Canada at 25 for software development, equivalent to a community college in the US.

I'm about to fail a course and not get a co-op that will give me valuable work experience. I have two semesters left basically. Even if I finish this diploma program, I'll be worthless in the eyes of employers as I am now. I went back to college to pursue programming and still want to go into this field but it is not working out as of now. I didn't want to work at my previous job anymore but at least I had the title of being employed. Now, I'm at my parents place for life, and I'll be that 30 year old creep who lives with his parents and is a failure. I have a sister 7 years older than me but I don't consider her family anymore, the rest of my family is far apart and older and not close to me and I speak to them once a year, if that. My parents will soon have major issues as they are nearing their 60s and have started having different kinds of pain so they won't be around much longer. I have a place to stay and live I guess but I'm not on my own and don't have my life together and don't know when that will be but now I need it to happen.

Basically, I'm dealing with all of this right now, still have the support of my parent but there'll come a time where they'll be gone and I'll still be alone and depressed with no close family around. I just hate failing, being lazy, and not being productive every day. I regret a lot of things but I regret making life mistakes and not dealing with my depression earlier as I feel like it has taken me over completely.

Thanks in advance.
 
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Legate Lanius

Try not to kill yourself 2020 challenge.
#2
Feels strange writing to my future self. Well first of all you have to somehow get the opinions of others into the trash. Then re-evaluate why you'd think someone living with their parents @ 30 is a "creep" and a "loser". Hollywood? The DNA not getting replicated? Premature death? I would say to think more and to dig deeper into the assumptions here.
 

Quietus

Well-Known Member
#3
So why isn't the program working out? Why would you be worthless if you received the diploma?

Are there other career paths you could pursue?

I feel like, as a society, we have had it pushed upon us that we have to have everything in its right place before our mid-twenties, and that is absolute nonsense.

Things happen in people's lives all the time that trip them up, and they have to figure out how to start all over again.

Some people have to do that in their 30's and 40's.

We're all in different stages.
 

RedTerminator13

Well-Known Member
#5
Feels strange writing to my future self. Well first of all you have to somehow get the opinions of others into the trash. Then re-evaluate why you'd think someone living with their parents @ 30 is a "creep" and a "loser". Hollywood? The DNA not getting replicated? Premature death? I would say to think more and to dig deeper into the assumptions here.
It is opinions of other but knowing myself as well. If I don't have a boot up my rear to get anything done, I don't do it, so shaming is the only way I can motivate myself. Also, to find a good partner and to be a good father, you need to be settled at some point, I'd want a family but nowadays with common-law and divorce law becoming unstoppable and with my looks and self-confidence, lack of experience, I don't think its a good idea.
 

RedTerminator13

Well-Known Member
#6
So why isn't the program working out? Why would you be worthless if you received the diploma?

Are there other career paths you could pursue?

I feel like, as a society, we have had it pushed upon us that we have to have everything in its right place before our mid-twenties, and that is absolute nonsense.

Things happen in people's lives all the time that trip them up, and they have to figure out how to start all over again.

Some people have to do that in their 30's and 40's.

We're all in different stages.
I'll finish the program at some point, I just don't think I can be good and have the skills to showcase employers, but that's probably due to a lack of self-confidence. I am pretty dead set on this path as I finished a degree before this that got me nowhere and I had hardly any experience. The older you get, the weirder it is to apply for entry-level jobs to employers because they know soemthing is wrong with you if you're older but applying for co-ops/internships.
 

RedTerminator13

Well-Known Member
#7
Outcomes aren't really something that we can control, and maybe not even predict. Imho, the best we can do is to strive for the best goals we can, then accept the outcome.


Do you want to say more about the course and why you think you'll fail?
I did bad on the midterm and you need to get a 50% average on the final and midterm to pass so I know I'm toast with the course. I'm just upset everything was going good and then all of the sudden I have a disaster couple of months and I am back where I started and can't focus or think straight
 

Legate Lanius

Try not to kill yourself 2020 challenge.
#8
It is opinions of other but knowing myself as well. If I don't have a boot up my rear to get anything done, I don't do it, so shaming is the only way I can motivate myself. Also, to find a good partner and to be a good father, you need to be settled at some point, I'd want a family but nowadays with common-law and divorce law becoming unstoppable and with my looks and self-confidence, lack of experience, I don't think its a good idea.
I would never put another person on this planet, it is cruel and barbaric.
 
#9
then all of the sudden I have a disaster couple of months
If there was a medical issue that prevented you from performing well, there might be some form of accommodation that can be given to you. If there is academic counseling at your school, you might ask about that, or more generally if there is something that you can do to pass your class.
 

RedTerminator13

Well-Known Member
#10
If there was a medical issue that prevented you from performing well, there might be some form of accommodation that can be given to you. If there is academic counseling at your school, you might ask about that, or more generally if there is something that you can do to pass your class.
Thanks, I have been looking into those resources already, just have a lot of depression and anxiety when doing projects or anything really so I am trying to seek out a psychiatrist for or something else. I still stay active and run but anything mentally I have to do taht's challenging I'm just lazy and get paralyzed, lose confidence
 
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