Starting to plan

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by morry_morris, Jun 10, 2009.

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  1. morry_morris

    morry_morris New Member

    Hey Guys,

    Well i think im finally going to go threw with my sucide. Starting to plan things out, like where i wanna die and how etc etc.

    Planning it for when i get my tax back, selling my car, going to melbourne or brissy and making the most of my last 48 hours =]

    tell me if u think i should have the right to die??

    I cant handle anything theses days.. the world is geeting too much for me and i will never have a high standand of life. I was taking lsd, mushys, dope plus a number of other illegal drugs. Now for life im stuck with mental problems. such as psychosis, hppd, aniexty and bipolar. I make word salads in my head. Forget what im doing at the time or what i was just about going to do. This horrbile pressure in my head wont go away. Feels like my brain is to olarge for my skull. The only way i can chope is by drinking every night. Lost my girlfriend, the people closest to me. Everyone talks in town and looks at me. Im pretty much an outcast. The meds have helped but im still not happy with the way i see the world and think.

    Ive lost most of my friends. Just having a convo with someone is hard. Everywhere i go and every person i see i seem to get tested and judge. Even today at work while packing up i was asked if i was alright, itripped out abit and then the girl asks i didnt mean it like if u were alright in the head.

    I cant even do the things i love but i wont get into that.

    I want to be able to die peacefully like anyone really does. Thinking about taking <mod edit methods>. hopefully that will do the trick. if anyone has any helpful ideas i couldnt thank you enough.

    Know what the sad thing about this all is?? even tho it doesnt sound sad already.. im only 19. Drugs have wrecked my life and for anyone reading this i want it to be a warning for you. My last wishs is to have the people that mean to the most to me to carry on my story and try to get people taking or even starting drugs. Cause its just not worth it at all..

    I lived in a world of fantasy.. i hated society and the problems in the world. Was an amazing escape from it all.. Nothing at all would matter ehile i was tripping. i didnt want to be anywhere else but in nature seeing all the wonders the world has forgotten about. And before my death im planning to take acid again and while coming down take my posions.

    Any thoughts on my matter??
    WOuld love to hear what people have to say.


    morry morris
    Last edited by a moderator: Jun 11, 2009
  2. Godsdrummer

    Godsdrummer Guest

    You have a right to live.
  3. WildCherry

    WildCherry ADMIN

    Nobody here is going to give you any ideas. This is a pro-life board;
  4. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Hi and welcome to the forum.

    Like the others have one is going to help you die.

    Why have you lost most of your friends? You're only 19,you have plenty of time and will have plenty of opportunities ahead of you to make new ones. I really hope you reconsider..I'm sure you would be missed xxx
  5. morry_morris

    morry_morris New Member

    maybe not being sane has something to do with it.
  6. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Hey Morry,
    Welcome to the forum..I know how drugs can destroy your life.. I sarted getting high when I was twelve..And didn't stop until my mid thirties..I could never get a decent job.. I got my girl friend pregnant and once we had the baby I grew up quick.. I quit taking everything except pot.. I would still get high but was able to support my little family..
    When I quiy getting high and drinking in my thirties life turned around.. I got a good paying job, bought a house, had a new truck and a fiance' Well thats another story..My point is if you quit drinking and getting high then just maybe your life will turn around like mine did..
    I wish you all the best..Take care!!
  7. Mightbehere

    Mightbehere Well-Known Member

    maybe you could report the people that sold you drugs to the police so that they don't sell them/ can't sell them to others.
  8. Godsdrummer

    Godsdrummer Guest

    None of us here are sane! lol

    Seriously though, if you are feeling mentally ill, all the more reason to stay alive.

    You don't want to give in to an injured brain.

    Think of it like this. If you broke your arm, you would go to the hospital, right?

    Well if you are suffering from a mental illness, then your brain is broken.

    Good news is that your injury is very treatable. So what I would like you to do, is go to your local hospital and tell them your plans. If you have any tools or devices for your plan take them with you and when you enter the er, just drop them on the floor. You dont want to appear threatening.

    Tell the admitting person EVERYTHING. Break down, cry if you have to. They will know you are serious.

    And then you know what will happen? Your life will start to get better. And the day you go down there, that will be day 1 of your new better life.

    Now if your tool is a weapon of some sort, better to take that to the police and drop it off with them. But as long as you drop that weapon off at the door of the er, then that should be ok too.

    Do this. Do this for you.
    Do this for those who love you. Your family, your friends. hell if nothing else do it for your online friends here.

    I was EXACTLY where you are. I know your pain. I never, ever thought EVER, that my life would get better, AND I DIDNT WANT IT TO.

    But life has gotten better.

    If you have any faith, get down on your knees, and pray. Ask God to remove these thoughts from your head.
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