Ever person that I meet comes to leave a mark upon me by the end. Some more indelible than others, some inexplicably so. Some a thumbprint on my skin some a footprint in my heart. Too many play me like an instrument I make myself for them seeking pleasure mine through theirs. This girl she startles me she catches at the corner of my eye. My own face makes me uneasy. I did not know that I could wreak change and still have it surprise me. There was no path which would have suited better none fit not a single one could have found its terminus and been without reproach. Maybe time is just needed. Maybe with time I will come to recognize this person I have built. Many things have come to be in time. Understanding rocketing into being in a mushroom cloud as now becomes before and you find yourself stranded in after. Before after I thought I could survive anything. During I disinherited the word. In the now this after, which is nothing like the ever afters of my fairy tales, I see the short distance of my life behind me and the short distance of my life ahead, and feel chagrin, pointless, I did not have any answers before. I have none now. I did not know it then, but I know it at present, I might as well wait and see. The end is the same no matter the when. Before I met you I did not know love bore your face. In this after, confusion finds me, I did not know love had so many faces. Desire, I did not know it spoke in tongues. My mouth twists to find words. Destruction, I did not know it had my name.