One of the hidden things I've noticed over my time on here, and indeed in my own personal experience - is how we become used to depression, how we grow to 'live' with it and take the half-life it gives us. So much so that when we are healed of it - we struggle to adjust to life without it. The future can become scary because of the imprint and scarring that mental illness can leave, even when you're well you find yourself sometimes looking over your shoulder for the inevitable bad day. I wrote this piece to try and get this state of mind across... I hope it works - and I hope you enjoy reading. Chris Time ticks, marching - as an army. Second upon minute upon hour upon day. For tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow, Clouds race across closing skies, a time lapse camera on my life. Said I'd post the paperwork today. Yet I did not. And now the papers sit accusingly on the passenger seat outside, the car watches me. Taking notes, headlights for eyes. Mundane receipts and claims, the weight in my world. And though I hate to admit to you, I miss you. You with your grey broods and wakeful sleeps, Your gulping sobs turned hastily into hacking coughs, Your reckless abandon and your sugar rushes. Your reflection in the mirror, gaunt, haggard and drawn with eyes sunken backward into skull. And lank unkempt hair plastered on your head uncared. Dreadful, Releasing, Simplicity. Time....ticked....dragging....its' feet....a wounded soldier Hours inside of a second. For the endless todays. And yet I miss you. This brave new world, endless opportunity. Glorious and free! But now I'm a drowning man, Without even your driftwood to cling to. My dreadful, simplistic lifeless-jacket.