Stay, leave or suicide?

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Eleanor, Dec 1, 2011.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. Eleanor

    Eleanor Member

    I really have just had enough now. I can't think straight. Can't function. Haven't been able to go work. Don't think I can ever go back. Do love my partner but not in love with him. He said something to me sunday night which proved what a selfish bastard he really is and how even though he'll do anything for me really his needs are more important than mine or saving our relationship. The guy I do want to be with doesn't care anymore and can't even look me in the eyes. I've fucked everything up and I know I'm going straight to hell.
     
  2. EarToHelp

    EarToHelp Member

    Eleanor, you need to start assessing your situation properly, start looking without a clouded view. Are you misinterpretating his lack of love for you? Are you 100% your outlook isn't making it difficult for him to show you love? This isn't what I think you are doing, just asking in case it is a possibility.

    You need to take a breath and give it time, start talking to him... ask if it's okay to talk, and tell him how much you love him. Don't nag, just try to talk calmly (although it is difficult to keep a guy still long enough to have a sensitive chat lol)... You need to find out if he loves you, and if there is something preventing him from being happy with you. You also need to keep busy, don't focus too much on this right now.... you need to love yourself too and find time for your own happiness, don't rely on one person to keep you happy 100% of the time.

    There is way too much in the world to just throw it all away. Give it time, and try to see things clearly, don't get in a panic.

    xx
     
  3. crystalclear

    crystalclear Well-Known Member

    I agree with eartohelp assessing the situation is the first thing you can do. Since you and your husband are adults then a mature and calm conversation can shed some light to your issues. And if you really think that your relationship cant be saved then staying with him would just make you miserable and its pointless too. Of course your happiness should be your first priority.
     
  4. Eleanor

    Eleanor Member

    The stupid thing is I KNOW you are right but I still have these really dark moments where I convince myself of the complete opposite. What is wrong with me?
     
  5. Eleanor

    Eleanor Member

    I packed a load of my stuff up on Monday and was waiting for him to come home before leaving (he half knows I'm going to anyway) but then I chickened out and unpacked it all, and as a consequence I had a really bad migraine. Being suffering with cluster migraines all week now. It really isn't helping - my migraines are triggered by emotional stress and they are really severe. I know we need to sit down and talk about things in an adult way but the stress of doing that is making me ill. I can't win whatever I do.
     
  6. In Limbo

    In Limbo Forum Buddy

    That's what mental illness does - it is not a fault of yours. I agree with everything ETH said. I'd also say that if you're even considering suicide as the thread title suggests, the please go to your doctor...

    PM me anytime

    Chris
     
  7. crystalclear

    crystalclear Well-Known Member

    Eleanor, leaving someone you love/loved and letting go is really hard and if it makes you ill, then maybe taking things slowly or distancing your self gradually will help. btw are you seeking medical help, because your migraine sound severe. Have you told your husband "Listen, Im going through a tough time and I really need your support right now more than ever"?
     
  8. Forgotten_Man

    Forgotten_Man Well-Known Member

    Generally speaking if you feel like leaving can help fix your situation then leave. Staying won't change anything. Suicide prevents you from growing and changing.

    As for your current significant other. Is he supposed to be miserable for you to be happy? If that is the case then I am just as selfish as him. We all have requirements to be happy with another person. There is nothing wrong with wanting to enjoy something that is supposed to be enjoyable.
     
  9. Eleanor

    Eleanor Member

    I just wish I could think straight and then I might be able to claw myself out of this mess.
     
  10. Eleanor

    Eleanor Member

    I've been taking medication for the migraines for a few years now and have seen a consultant etc. Unfortunately, I'm suffer from one of the severest forms which gives stroke-like symptoms for a few hours, and then leaves me feeling like crap for a week to ten days later. Can affect my speech and co-ordination for up to a month as well.
     
  11. Eleanor

    Eleanor Member

    I do understand what you are saying about my other half's happiness but it would mean I would have to be miserable for him to be happy! Maybe I'm being selfish, I don't know.
     
  12. Forgotten_Man

    Forgotten_Man Well-Known Member

    If that is the case then he is not your other half. I say dump him, that may helpvfar more than staying with him.
     
  13. crystalclear

    crystalclear Well-Known Member

    If staying with your husband causes you pain and misery. If your not happy with him anymore then I don't think there is a point in staying. Think of your happiness because as far as I can see your husband is not thinking of it. Starting over can be scary but it can also be liberating who knows maybe things will turn out well. :)
     
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.