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"Stay together for the kids."

Discussion in 'Domestic Abuse' started by Erebos, Jun 2, 2007.

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  1. Erebos

    Erebos Well-Known Member

    The child whose parents are divorced suffers from the divorce, but is granted beautiful peace at the very least. The child whose parents stay together is forced to continue witnessing the conflict resulting from irreconcilable differences. Peace is never attained.
  2. Syd

    Syd Guest

    Exactly, Erebos, exactly.

    My parents stayed together, but it has damaged me more than if they were to go separate ways. I've had to endure many years of anger and conflict between them (unfortunately much of it got targeted at me) and I sometimes just wish they could peacefully divorce and move on to healthier environments.

    At other times they seem to genuinely love each other, but still they continue to fight on other occasions. My mother has accused my father of cheating on her. I believe she's wrong, and it's simply a case of jealousy and paranoia over some of my father's female friends. Based on his personality, I don't believe for one moment that he would engage in a second relationship in that way.

    Many of my friends have experienced divorces early on, and it was hard for them at first, but they recovered and can look back on the situation without embarrassment or guilt.

    If a relationship is irreconcilable, a divorce is a reasonable solution. Social taboos or religious opposition have no place in someone's personal life - romantic lifestyles heavily influence mental health of those involved. Children raised by conflicting parents may experience neglect and develop aggression later in life.
  3. Erebos

    Erebos Well-Known Member

    I completely understand. Sure. My parents have their peaceful moments. But in this situation, you know it won't last and you're forced to walk on eggshells as a careless slip may trigger a storm. Even when they are civil towards each other, even displaying minor forms of affection, I can only scream "fake" in my mind. That's what love is to me. Fake. Everything is so fake. Wishing never to be hurt by them again, I sliced out my heart out so I could save my life.
  4. thedeafmusician

    thedeafmusician Staff Alumni

    I really think it depends on the kid. I've known kids that have parents who have been divorced for years and years.. and would rather their parents be together. But then some kids are glad their parents are divorced.

  5. possessednomad

    possessednomad Well-Known Member

    Im divided on this issue. my parents stayed together, while my father had an affair in london (where he 'worked'), with him around at weekends and sometimes in the week. the woman once phoned my house when we were having dinner. and i once read an email that he hadnt deleted properly when i was checking id deleted my sent emails and it was in there. wasnt good.

    but i dunno - im pretty screwed up, anyway, without this. i didnt get abused or anything but there was just sometimes general ill-feeling in the house, tbh.
  6. Esmeralda

    Esmeralda Well-Known Member

    Keep in mind that your parents can have a very passionate relationship that can be tumultuous, with a lot of fighting but a lot of making up too :) Just because you see them fight or hold back in front of you doesn't mean that is what their private relationship is like. As far as cheating goes...yuck.
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