I dont know why I am even on here again. I have been living day to day with pain, both emotionally and physically for months. Went through more medical tests for internal bleeding and low iron counts in the past 2 months. Feeling really tired all the time, which doesnt help my depression. My apparent permanent separation from my girlfriend in October has me even more depressed as I think of her constantly. I really dont want to be alive anymore. I am just sitting here trying to decide how to end it all.