Still alive and kicking...

Tuesday will mark 3 weeks since I came home from the hospital and woke up from my 3 day occoma and my failed suicide attempt. I am still in a bad place and still wish it all could just be over. I feel bad for the people I hurt when I made my attempt but at the same time I wish I wouldnt have woken up. Life has just kinda been hell since then and I am on a downward spiral with no way back up. My suicide attempt consisted of a <edited methods>. 15 minutes after taking them and chugging the bottle I was being rushed to the Icu completly unconscious, my lungs had collapsed and I couldnt breathe on my own, I had to be ventelated and rely on lifesupport until I woke up. On top of that I had to be given a shot every 30 mins to an hour to make keep my heart beating. When I woke up , tube down my throat and tied to the bed suprisingly I knew exactly where I was and why I was their. It's been a tough 3 weeks, and hard to not make stupid decesions. I hope I can hang on long enough to pull myself out of this mess and be happy once again.

 

:hugtackles:

I wish you the best of luck recovering from this traumatic experience. Thank you for sharing your experience with us.

 

I hope you get better soon. I can't put in to words how sorry I am for your pain.

 

<Mod Edit, WildCherry> I hope you can find the strength to move on.

 

I'm not sorry about your failed attempt.

I love that you are here. Be here tomorrow. Talk to me. Be here the next day. Talk to many people. We love that you're here.

 

That's so beautifully said, roscho:biggrin:. :agreed: 100%!

jlc20minkrose:

 

I am so sorry you are going through such a rough time right now. Did they refer you to any psychiatric services? Are you getting any help and support now? If not, a good thing to do would be to go and visit your doctor and see if they can refer you on for help. With lots of help and support, you can get through this. The aftermath of an attempt is awful, but it does get better. Please PM me if you need to and please take care. xxxx

 

We are so fortunate that you failed in your attempt because that way we get to meet you, and I am so pleased that you are determined to rebuild your life again...best of luck to you and please use the support here to get you through...J

 

hey, i dont know your story, but my suicide experience was quite similar... i remember waking upto that tube down my throat and gagging on it, i also remember all the drips... and i know exactly wot u mean by waking up and knowing why ur there... if u ever wna chat... message me... and all the best

 

Awww thanks. :biggrin: Well I am obviously still here! I'm taking it one day at a time and putting one foot in front of the other, Some days are better than others though.

 

I didn't refer to any Psychiatric services. Mainly because I have been down that road in the past and I just close up. It works for some and not for other's and I am just one of those people it doesnt work for. :sad: But reaching out to people on here, and a one or two of the people in my life that I trust helps alot. You take care too.