Hi people, I've decided 1/2 days ago on Sep 11th that I was going to end it. Having equipped with 2 suicide options, I booked a hotel room for one night. I looked at my first option, went to the balcony.. <mod edit: methods> So I could end up not dead, but with crushed limbs and legs for the rest of my life.. so I'm thinking.. no. So that leads me to my second option, I went to the bath tub, <mod edit: methods>Then turned the water on.. I lie myself in a sleeping position sideways, and the water is very slowly filling up. I don't remember what happens in between, I've obviously been knocked out by the pills.. but then after how many minutes or hours I don't know, I woke up! (by the rate the water is going, it could be about 30 minutes - 1.5 hours, I don't know how I woke up so quick :unsure: as I took quite a number of pills) Well the water on the tub was full when I woke up, and the water has stopped flowing! I don't know how the water stopped by itself, as I don't see any sensors on the bath tub that prevents it from overfilling. And I don't have any feeling that I've swollowed any water during my sleep either.. I don't know how, when I woke up I was in a sitting position, and my head was above the water.. strange. So, after that I went to the bed to curl up as it was cold.. then I felt really sick and I threw up on the floor. I put on my clothes and decide to give the first option a go. Then I thought really hard.. what if I fail? I would be suffering more than I would, and also the shame of having broken limbs, from failed suicide scares me. So I continued sleeping, then I checked out the morning after. I felt really sick that day (yesterday) and slept through the whole day. Well this is my first attempt, I hope I can really get through in life, as I'm struggling really hard.. I'm having a hard time, with myself and with others, with the world. I need help.. but I don't know who I can speak to, as I don't want to pay someone to hear my story, as I know it's their profession, and they're here to take my money.. so I don't know who to trust.