Still Crazy After All These Years....

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by Bambi, Apr 29, 2010.

  1. Bambi

    Bambi Well-Known Member

    yep that about sums it up....just when things seemed to be going so good I get hit with a bout of the blues pretty hard.

    I am doing good and thank God it did not last long but it was intense and well I think everyone here can relate to the fact that sometimes you just get tired of trying and want to just give up and/or sit around feeling sorry yourself for being born with this curse of depression.

    Thanks to all who reached out and sorry for scaring anyone. When I get down it happens very intensely but that is our nature too, to feel so deeply. I try to remember that the same capacity I have to feel sorrow is the same capacity I have to feel least that is what Kahil Gibran said once and I hope it is true...Lord knows I can be really happy at times.

    Well I am here for anyone that needs to thing I love about this place so much is that I can fall apart and unlike my real life family you all don't run from me and instead reach out to me even more.

    I think this last bout showed me I need to go back into therapy as I have been holding too much in and well I am coming up on my one year anniversary of being on SF and while that is not a trigger the matters that brought me here, getting dumped etc., are also in the back of my head.

    Well this is a life long illness for me and just want you all to know it helps knowing you are all here for me...I LOVE YOU ALL..

    :love: B
  2. shamps

    shamps Well-Known Member

    We are always here for anyone on here,you know youve, done it yourself hunni and we are all greatful for you too.Just nice to know you are ok.

    So here probably going to get a load of I told you so's and I deserve it.

    I have just hurt myself really really badly by doing something so frikkin foolish and stupid its untrue.Well anybody who knows me on here will know the ahrrassment im having off my newly become ex.He tried to stalk me with a fake profile on facebook and I reported him.I had the police around because he let himself in causing shit.Im left having to find a new place left with no money and he cheated on me and is now living with her.

    So I was fed up last night and decided to do what he did and made a fb profile and added him.He has since accepted (the fool he is so thick).And I dont quite know what my aim was,I guess I just wanted some form of closure by finding out what hes been upto since we split.Boy oh boy did I get more than I bargained for.

    Him and his family(thanks to the lies he mustve told them)and his friends have all written unbelievably nasty,downright frikkin evil things about me.I mean things like his post said"finally some good news today"and his sister replied with..."so Angela's dead then lol".And he replied with "not quite but getting there im working on it".

    Omg!!!!!This was just one of many comments about me.I told you.People hate me and I never do owt to anybody.Turns out he had told them all he had split with me long before he did(that explains why he deleted me off his facebook ages ago).

    I know what you're are thinking...I dont have any right to be upset as I stooped to his level and brought it on myself but I didnt expect to find such cruel heartless remarks about me,especially from others too.It also says how in love with his new woman he is and has never felt this way before about anybody(me).I was trying to get my head around being cheated on and dumped,but to find that it was all a sham long before I realised just really frikkin hurts!Who has the right to waste anybodies life like that?Why didnt he go before?

    Omg im really struggling to hold on...I knew he was with her but to know he feels that way for her just cuts real deep..I cant take it and ive nobody to talk to.......everybody on here is lovely but there is nobody close and no friendly voice to hear.

    I am afraid once again of what I may all my years of depression I have never hated myself so much.And yes ive done this to myself.:cry:
  3. ASolitaryBlue

    ASolitaryBlue Well-Known Member

  4. Rukia

    Rukia Well-Known Member