I am sad, depressed, down, discouraged, tired. It never seems to end. I've felt good for one full day in the last nine months. And even if I feel good for a brief time while I'm with someone, it just fades or gets ruined. And the next day I'm back down. How is this fair? I never get to feel good. Do normal people feel happy most of the time? And i never ever get to feel comfortable or content. I have no goals so no steps to take toward anything. If I were taking steps I could cross them off my list, and I think i would like that. i'm a list-maker. I'm better than I was, no doubt, thanks to the meds, but still sad. Unexcited, uninterested, walking around towing a 75-pound block of concrete. This is all so self-pitying, but it's true. Sadness is a low-grade, chronic disease. Another 50 years of this. 15,000 days. omg. too much. too little feeling.