Still feeling like crap

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by spidy, Jul 17, 2012.

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  1. spidy

    spidy Well-Known Member

    Just dont know what to do to feel well again.Everything just seems to be going against me.Ive been getting so overwhelmed with evgerything its doing my head in.My ex isnt helping much by telling kids how useless i am as they have told me this.All i do is try my bloody best yet still classed as a looser.I just dont know what to do anymore i see my kids drifting way apart from me.She has abilityto take them out and buy them treats which i dont as my money only deals with bills and a bit of food yet she expects me to be able to do all this shit on an unemployment benefit.She forgets she was in this position once until she went gold digging.I just cant seem to win even when i start work with rent and child support still be getting about same as unemployment benfits prob be 50 to 100 dollars better off wow.I cant see any future everytime i try i get pulled through the mud.I have been strong up until few weeks ago but a person can only be pulled down so many times before they break and thats me.Ive put up and gone through alot of shit in this life and dealt with most of it but I cant take anymore.I m sick of taking crap feeling like crap and people telling others how worthless i am.Had enough really.I break down nearly every night and all docs and councillers can come up with is take meds.Well they dont change what goes on and that comment gives me the shits.I have no structure or routine anymore i used to be on the ball cant seem to get anything organised without it overwhelming me it sux.I am scared as ive dreaming on methods of how to die so all this will end.Past horrible experences also have been popping up in my dreams which make a useless sleep and i wake up in puddle of sweat and very anxious and worried.I ve had this low now for about 3 weeks now or more and cant seem to shake it.Really running out of options and my guess next attempt wil be my last.I really cant deal with much more ive just been head fucked too many times.I really want too get better but no point as i make progresss i get dragged down again and again.I msorry about this need to get it of my chest i m really really scared of everthing.I never thought i d ever be like this as i was always the clown but now days i m a miserable person who cant seem to get his shit togeather.Tomorrows payday think i might fill car up go park in the middle of bumfuck somewhere and drink a shit load and end it all take all this misery to the grave.I dont give a dam if there is no after life and that i wont feel anything once i m deceased as i m a walking zombie now.
     
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    YOur kids love you hun and they will see right through your ex attempt to buy them over You will always be there dad hun someone they can turn to when they need help and hugs
     
  3. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    I'm sorry you're still feeling so overwhelmed and unhappy gav..

    TE is right ...your kids will see her for what she is as they grow up...
    my ex husband did the same thing with our kids and they were not too happy with him when they were old enough to realize the games he was playing..
    I worked with kids for many years, had a few of my own and I've seen they are just happy doing simple things that don't cost the earth as long as they spend time with you..
    she sounds like she's trying to buy their love.

    I hope you don't go ahead with your plans to leave...and give yourself more time ..the meds wouldn't have taken full effect yet right?!
    i can hear your struggle..I want you to win this battle.
    sending you a huge cyber :hug:
     
  4. spidy

    spidy Well-Known Member

    Start some work monday so hopefully will help me take my mind of things and get me some fianacial freedom fingers crossed.Just hope my back holds up as is very stressful on back.I m going to give this last ditch effort a chance.
     
  5. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    good on ya spidy...I wish you luck on monday..hope the back doesn't cause problems
    got fingers and toes crossed for you...:hug:
     
  6. spidy

    spidy Well-Known Member

    Thanks for your support :hug: back too you
     
  7. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I wish you all the best spidy hugs to you
     
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