I am having my dad bring in my computer tomorrow first thing and I really hope I can getit back soon and get my software working as my hands really hurt from all thetyping I've been doing. I found a site called The Experience Project and I posted about my suicide attempt there (the overdose I menitioned in another thread) dont know why, just wanted to tell the story. Hopefully its as anonymous as it seems. I am still feeilng very alone and hopeless. I keep thinking about Friday when I sat there with everythign all set for my suicide, holding in my hands the means to do it, had it all planned out, no way I could've been saved, and then i called my friend instead and she convinced me to get rid of it. I am mad at myself and even a little mad at her, although I know that's ridiculous. I wish I still had the items I wanted to use kill myself instead of having to make preparations again from scratch. But I have thought about other ways now. I have thought about several ways to do it with what I have in the house. I am feelingvery low. Tomorrow the guy is coming over th fix the phone, because that too isnt' working (its dropping calls) and the place is a mess. I dont' have the energy to clean and I'm in too much pain. He's lucky I cleaned the kitty litter andtook out the garbage. that's jsut about as much as I can manage these days. He will proabably think I am the biggest slob in existence. Going to go now, hurts too much. Hope to be back online everntually.