Still getting the urge

Discussion in 'After Effects' started by MaNg0s, Apr 22, 2008.

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  1. MaNg0s

    MaNg0s Well-Known Member

    I have tried to kill myself 3 times now. < Mod Edit - Potential Methods > After I wanted to live life and I was really optimistic about the future but after a few days I just felt the same.

    My last attempt was a week ago and I just feel like trying again. I am really depressed I stopped taking my medication last week as they made me feel more suicidal. But I don't know I just feel soo empty and lonely I miss how my life used to be. I know a million threads have been made like this and it feels like I am just whining but I don't know what to do I really want to go tonight.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Apr 24, 2008
  2. RosiePosie

    RosiePosie Member

    I got into an accident and did the whole Valium thing in an attempt.
    I felt really good afterwards.
    Like I got all this negativity out of my system.
    But back to basics, as usual.

    :rolleyes:
     
  3. MaNg0s

    MaNg0s Well-Known Member

    I just slept for like 2 days afterwards in the hospital it was not that fun at all lol.
     
  4. RosiePosie

    RosiePosie Member

    I took, well, a lot, and I didnt even crash.
    I don't know if I'm superwoman or what. :blink:

    But yeah I really liked the few days after.
    What the fuck, why can't it just stay. :/
     
  5. MaNg0s

    MaNg0s Well-Known Member

    lol you didn't even crash out you special girl you. But yeah I used to take valium here and there to calm down my panic attacks they were great really great lol but after I tried to OD on them I was not allowed to take them again.
     
  6. weegee

    weegee Active Member

    I have just finsished reading your threads and stuff and i can see you have had it rough. i can see medication wasent helping you and you have one of the worst things that could happen to you, but suicde wont help. giving up can seem the easist thing to do but its not the best. you need to do soemthing to take your mind off it. for example set yourself a goal weather thats weight loss or taking up a hobby(their was a great thread on the suicde forum about keeping ocupied by BigBrother). the point is the pain is horible and it seems like it wont go away but given time it will dull to where you can live with it and then you will hardly ever feel it. so all you need to do now is wait it out(sorry for making this sound easy but its not gonna be). so i want you to figure soemthing out by yourself or with people you trust(sharing with someone you see alot helps more then you think) make a plan then stick to it, make little achivemnts every day while telling yourself that your one step closer to living again.

    doing this stuff when depressed is hard(i know personaly)feeling numb and sick all the time , just not wanting to do anythign but pity yourself, you need to forget that and force yourself to do something, anything to keep alive to keep going. i want you to post here every day tellig me how your doing and i prommise i will reply to every one and give you my all to make you better again.

    but can you do me a favour and not speak to this girl again no matter what she wants(it makes things worse)

    i hope you get better sooner rather then later.
     
  7. MaNg0s

    MaNg0s Well-Known Member

    Thanks I really appreciate how you took the time to read my other threads really. I will try not to talk to this girl again but it will be hard. Ty for your kind words.
     
  8. weegee

    weegee Active Member

    speaking to her will only make you feel worse. just imagin if you do get somewhere with her and then it all falls apart. you would be back at the beginning.

    leave the painfull stuff behind and keep ocupied.
     
  9. MaNg0s

    MaNg0s Well-Known Member

    I know. It has gotten to a point where I am breaking down every night and cutting every night.
     
  10. weegee

    weegee Active Member

    STOP CUTTING every time you cut you just think about your situation more and reafirm that you cant move on. you need to leave all the depression stuff behind. this means goign out as much as you can(walking, running, walll climbing dosent matter) get busy and make yourself tired. if your by yourself all your gonna thingk about is her. if ya have freinds go out every night, if not go out everynight and try and make some.
     
  11. MaNg0s

    MaNg0s Well-Known Member

    Well I went out tonight I do go out often actually with friends. But I feel great when I am with them but as soon as I get home I just feel depressed again its always there.
     
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