Still have dreams and anxiety about an ex.

Discussion in 'Family, Friends and Relationships' started by Aphorism, Jan 24, 2016.

  1. Aphorism

    Aphorism Well-Known Member

    Hi, so I'm currently a junior in college. My freshman year I lived in a dorm with my best friend at the time, and long story short, we began hooking up. It eventually became a codependent relationship, but since we're both girls, she refused to ever acknowledge it as a truly romantic or serious relationship. We fought all throughout our sophomore year, although we stopped hooking up. We tried to maintain a friendship, but it ultimately fell apart when I found out she had been lying about dating her coworker that is 20 years older than her. Anyways, I have managed to stop trying to be her friend. We're just okay acquaintances and when we do see each other on campus, we are polite to each other and never bring up anything heavy.

    However, lately I've had dreams about her. And often, if I think I might run into her or when people give me updates about her life, I get heavy anxiety for a few hours. I've had multiple anxiety attacks while I was in a "relationship" with her. And we both treated each other horribly, so it's really for the best that we're not close anymore. Still, it hurts to continually remember what has happened, to have dreams and anxiety about her. People tell me I should just "get over it" but it's really hard. The wounds still feel fresh, sometimes.
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Perhaps talking here will help you let go of some of the anxiety I am sorry you are having the anxiety attacks i do hope you can talk to someone your doctor a councilor about ways to help you
  3. Cicada 3301

    Cicada 3301 Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    It's not always as easy to just "get over it" and if this is still new to you it may take some time. I'm sorry that it is causing you anxiety and you are having thoughts about her a lot. Maybe you can just tell people you don't want to hear about her at the moment? Or, they don't know that you were in a relationship? How long ago was it now that you split? I hope you can start to rebuild from this and over time you will be able to feel better and let it go.