I tried to kill myself again, fuck ony knows why it didn't work becuase I took enough Ibuprophen to kill a small African village and I'm still here and I don't want to be. There's so much shit going on around me and my life is a fucking joke. There's so much and I can't deal with it all at once. In a few weeks I will be responsible for caring for my 20 year old brother, I don't even want to think about how challenging that's going to be and how much strain it's going to put on my already strained relationship. Everything feels so rushed and urgent, but nothing comes to a point where i can see that I've accomplished something.