So last night my husband and I decided to stay together, so it kept me alive for another night. Problem is, I still want to off myself. When I told my mother I was suicidal she said that I only say that to manipulate her and that I've said it so many times that she doesn't care anymore. However, she's wrong, I'm going to prove it, and she'll regret saying that to me. My step-father is a total idiot/douchebag. He thinks that drinking alcohol all the time is perfectly fine but gets on people's case for taking Klonopin (prescribed by a doctor) for fuck's sake. And my husband claims he's going to get better with his heroin use and he'll get help, etc. But, I don't believe it. I love him very much, but he's probably not going to get better and I know it. I'm currently typing up my suicide letter, and I still want to say bye to two more people. And then I'm going to attempt. Don't know if it'll work, but guess we'll find out.